The Darwin Awards

Finished reading: AD19

Today is my Mom's birthday, so Happy Birthday, Mom! As for me, work has gotten busy near "month-end". I'm just glad enough there was enough of a lull to post.

(* * *)

As our story begins, the Reverend Harris is having a nice, long chat with Mrs. Johnson. It turns out our friendly church gossip has issues with...well, everything, seeing sex behind every bush. (We later learn from Martin Peters that Johnson is rather delusional.)

Glen Bates, Jane's new friend, comes back through the door, all smelly and dirty, claiming that while outside he was face to face with a dead raccoon. Actually, her friend took care of the molestor problem with a burial, which explains why he returned to the church so dirty.

Daria is assigned to watch the spring house with Martin Peters, one of the teens at the church. He can't keep his eyes off her and she ask him what the hell is up. Daria founds out that Martin asked for this watch, and he asks if Daria has a boyfriend. Daria tells him that she's not interested, then has to reassure him that it's not about him. The two agree to be friends.

Back at the church, as Jane is entertaining kids with puppets, she hears a gunshot. As it turns out, a man named Bill Foster has been shot. (Most likely, guarding the church.) The kids are corraled by Jane and taken someplace to hide.

At the spring house, there are intruders nearby. Martin Peters is shot in the shoulder. It appears that unknown assailants plan on capturing the spring house, and Daria to boot. Daria manages to shoot one in the neck with a rifle.

The bad news -- the men have grenades, or at least, a grenade. The good news -- the man with the grenade has no common sense. He throws the grenade at the house so hard it bounces off like a rock, right back towards the hurler. One BOOM! later, and the assault on the spring house comes to a halt.

After the kids are squared away, Jane breaks loose. A battle appears to be in progress, and Jane shoots two raiders (and a third, later, for good measure). Jane is determined to get to Daria. A detail is sent to the spring house, and Daria and Martin are rescued.

(* * *)

At last! Some hot action that doesn't involve lesbianism!

It was rather nice of Glen Bates to go out of his way to bury the dead body, although that might have been done more likely for the assailant's family's sake that for Jane's.

I found the Martin blurting out that he was hot for Mrs. Cooper a little foolish -- the only time I've ever seen people blurt things out like that has been in sitcoms. (Or, well, with Brittany or Kevin, and I don't think Martin's that stupid.) However, Martin's awkwardness was portrayed in a charming way, aside from the lapse just mentioned.

I also found the incident with the grenade both amusing and satisfying. After learning of Jane's sudden marksmanship, and with too many people exhibiting Annie Oakley levels of familiarity with firearms, it's good to see some old-fashioned ineptitude. Stephen King pointed out (not explicitly) in The Stand that it won't be radiation, or rapists, or rampaging dogs that will kill a lot of people in the apocalypse. It will be Charles Darwin, as several wanna-be Rambos off themselves due to their own ignorance. Hopefully, Darwin's magic will work itself through the community in a few months and most of the dumber malefactors will be dead.

Martin Peters getting shot and the raid on the church with Foster's death point out one danger that doesn't seem to be pointed out in apocalyptic fiction -- snipers, or at least people with long-range weapons. Furthermore, people who have gathered together to form supply depots are going to be targets for people looking for supplies, flesh, and power in the post-apocalypse, or at least before the army shows up. Just a handful of assailants can make life at the church miserable, and it was good to see that the church was not the Impregnable Fortress of God.

Of course, we had to see Daria in a gratuitous bra shot. But then again, this is an HBO miniseries. At least, the lesbian angle seems to have been dropped temporarily, which means that all in all, this was a pretty good chapter.




(Alternate plot: My theory that Glen Bates was working hand in hand with Jane's assailant has only been strengthened. He didn't go out to bury that body! He went out to go call his friends from the VFW to attack the church! Buster's been talking about that damn live hand grenade of his for years...at least Glen will never have to hear that drunken rant again!)