Thursday, January 31, 2008
A "Klosterman"-type Question
A question, although one of the ones not asked by Chuck Klosterman:
Let's assume you're holding a fancy dress ball. The cream of society is going to be there. This is a black-tie and maybe tails affair. Leaders from politics, society, great authors, the wealthiest people, humanitarians, the ne plus ultra of American society will be there.
Your best friend -- a male -- has begged for an invitation. Let's furthermore assume (since this is a thought exercise based on extremes) that you're sort of obligated to give him an invitation.
The problem is that there will be no person there more out of place than your friend. As for dress...well, the less said the better. He is unshaven, wears a STAR WARS hat, some sort of obscure T-shirt with mustard stains, wears shorts when he doesn't have the legs for it, sandals with socks, etc. etc. Even if you give him instructions on how to dress, he'll get it wrong. This is the guy who shows up in the neon blue tuxedo with the wide lapels to the weddings. Hell, if you told him that the party was shoes only, he'd probably show up with just one shoe. I haven't even mentioned the body odor....
However, this isn't his only problem. His deportment is...well, it leaves a lot to be desired. He will pick his nose during conversations. Sometimes, he's thoughtlessly rude. Other times, he'll go on and on about some boring subject that no one cares about. Or he'll make some faux pas, or forget the end of a promising story, etc. He's the person you don't want to be stuck talking to.
Naturally, your thought is that disaster can only ensue. However, a helpful wizard comes by and gives you one of two choices:
The first choice is that he will repair the appearance problem. With a wave of his hand, your pal will at least look like Timothy Dalton or Pierce Brosnan. Immaculately tailored and dressed. Clean-shaven. The best in fashion. Clean, and with a pleasant smell. It doesn't solve the horrible personality problems, but he doesn't look out of place. He might even be able to pass as an eccentric.
The second choice is that will repair the deportment problem. Your friend will not blurt out his thoughts on Asian women to Mrs. Wang. His conversations will not only have a structure, they will have a point. His stories will be spellbinding...but he'll still look like garbage. People will have a good time talking to him, if they're not immediately repelled by him and avoid him.
The question: Which of the two choices do you make?
Injudicious
Finished reading: AD20
Martin's father, John Peters, thanks Daria for removing her shirt to serve as a bandage, or something, to help out Martin Peters. Daria gets on the Peters's prayer list as a result, and gets to hear Jane Lane's comedy rantings for five minutes. ("Thank you, ladies and gents, I'll be here all week!")
Three of the attackers have been captured. The toll -- four church members are dead and many are injured. Everyone gets a Geiger counter sweep. One of the dead assailants is so radioactive that they need a lead-lined container to dispose of him. And coincidentally...guess what? Glen happens to know someone who has a lead-lined coffin! There's a long story that's probably not helpful to recount, so we'll just let this go and say that the lead coffin solves a lot of problems.
As it turns out, one of the attackers has a very high level of radioactivity, so whether he faces justice by bullet or not, he's dead anyway. Doctor Kathy asks that the man not be shot...because you'd have to clean up his blood. (Well, as the joke goes, "...and that's why they call me the hanging judge!")
The lead coffin isn't big enough to bury the men or their equipment. One member of the church donates her lead-lined hope chest to the cause of deposing of radioactive items.
Jane finds an AK-47 which doesn't seem to be too radioactively "dirty". Coincidentally, it happens to be a rifle that the old hippy taught her to fire at the commune, so Jane adds it to her growing arsenal. One of the men at church whose daughter's arm was broken by the assailants threatens to shoot one of the captured men. The man is defiant to the last. Jane takes over the responsibility of shooting the man by blasting him with the AK-47.
The church is very surprised. Even Daria is surprised, but Jane is just as defiant. There's some argument about turning the other cheek among the parishoners.
Reverend Harris states that the men have to have one last chance to accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. The man who isn't radioactive prays with the reverend briefly, and then Glen kills him. As for the man who has radiation sickness, he is offered the same opportunity. Bawling, he takes it before the parishoners kill him by rope.
(* * *)
Daria is thinking about Martin Peters. As it turns out, Martin shoved Daria out of the way and coincidentally took a bullet meant for her. Daria assumes this was a massive act of altruism. Jane states that Martin will always have her thanks for doing that.
Martin survives his surgery. Daria comes to see him and gives him a kiss. Martin thanks Daria for saving his life, and they kiss again. They are still friends...and perhaps, something more.
(* * *)
Well, I guess there's no nice way to say it, so you know me, the kind of guy who just thoughtlessly blurts it out in the open.
I remember a music critic saying, "how do you tell Paul McCartney that he has produced a lousy album?" Likewise, "how do you tell someone who worked hard (presumably) on a piece of fan fiction that they just wrote something with very little merit?"
One of the keys to melodrama -- good and bad -- is coincidence. Coincidence, used judiciously, can make a work of good melodrama. Coincidence ,used injudiciously, makes an awful one. In this chapter, Lady Coincidence has staggered into the room, smelling of run, bedecked with beads, showing her jooblies to anyone who will look. Then, she throws up all over the carpet.
We have not one, not two, but a whole lot of authorial applications of coincidence. Someone just happens to have a lead-lined coffin floating around. And a lead-lined hope chest. (I can imagine some young lady saying, "I need a hope chest that can both prepare me for marraige and the cruel, post-apocalypse reality I'll have to live with when the Russkies let fly the nukes.")
And, Jane just happens to recover an AK-47, which happens to be one of the very weapons that this hippie (whom I suspect was John Rambo with a beard) trained her how to use. I was trying to suspend disbelief, but my arms gave out at this point and like Martin Peters, I barely survived the rest of the story.
As for the scene with the captured radicals, it sounded like the parishoners were trying very hard to have their cakes and eat them, too. There has to be some hand-wringing about turning the other cheek, and giving the chance for the executed to join the Methodist church. After these sad preliminaries are out of the way, the reader gets what he wanted (*) -- an execution scene, with the bonus that one of the captured men possesses a cartoon bad guy's levels of defiance. (He would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for those crazy kids.)
Hanging or a bullet to the head isn't suitably dramatic, though. Nor can the executions take place offscreen. Jane has to blow someone away to edge up the drama a few notches. I'm surprised she didn't prop a foot on his chest and say, "yippie-ki-AY, muthafucka".
As for our Martin...well, does anything not go well for this boy? He's got it all, because the author it giving it all to him.
One of the problems of setting up a relationship for Daria...or Jane...is the fact that we've idolized Daria and Jane so much that frankly, nobody is good enough for either of them. Why do you think fans hated Tom Sloane? He wasn't good enough for Daria. Part of the reason Trent was good enough for Daria was that he was offscreen so much you could make him out into whatever you wanted him to be, whereas we were presented with all of Sloane's faults at once.
So what does Martin have going for him?
1. He's a Christian, which seems important to the author.
2. He takes a bullet for Daria. Hey, Trent may have been a nice guy, but he never took a bullet for anyone.
3. He manages to valiantly struggle during surgery, but survives. Now, he's cool instead of just dead. (Which would have been an interesting way to take the story.)
So he's good with weapons (like Ted), reflective (like Trent) and lucky and blessed (like Tom). The major obstacle to any Daria romance is going to be Jane, but Jane approves of this wonderful young lad.
Just a warning: if you read that last Daria/Martin scene, make sure you've eaten no sugar at least three hours before.
(* * *)
Am I scared off? Nah, my blood is up. I'll be reviewing AD21 tomorrow. And like Brother Grimace's beloved Ben Raines, I swear that through hell or high water, I'll make it through AD22 which is the 1/2 way point. Frankly, though, in ordinary circumstances I would have bailed out of "Apocalyptic Daria" with this chapter. Martin, Daria, and Jane would have had to have made their own way without me.
EDIT: I think it's just time for me to climb off "Apocalyptic Daria". I just read the next two chapters. Rather that retread old ground, I think it's time to give some other Daria fanfic a chance. So next time...who knows what I'll review?
(*)- One of the points of melodrama, good or bad, is that all of the reader's deepest beliefs, spoken or unspoken, must be confirmed. Namely, that not only should the bad people die, but you should get a chance to see it in all its bloody glory.
Martin's father, John Peters, thanks Daria for removing her shirt to serve as a bandage, or something, to help out Martin Peters. Daria gets on the Peters's prayer list as a result, and gets to hear Jane Lane's comedy rantings for five minutes. ("Thank you, ladies and gents, I'll be here all week!")
Three of the attackers have been captured. The toll -- four church members are dead and many are injured. Everyone gets a Geiger counter sweep. One of the dead assailants is so radioactive that they need a lead-lined container to dispose of him. And coincidentally...guess what? Glen happens to know someone who has a lead-lined coffin! There's a long story that's probably not helpful to recount, so we'll just let this go and say that the lead coffin solves a lot of problems.
As it turns out, one of the attackers has a very high level of radioactivity, so whether he faces justice by bullet or not, he's dead anyway. Doctor Kathy asks that the man not be shot...because you'd have to clean up his blood. (Well, as the joke goes, "...and that's why they call me the hanging judge!")
The lead coffin isn't big enough to bury the men or their equipment. One member of the church donates her lead-lined hope chest to the cause of deposing of radioactive items.
Jane finds an AK-47 which doesn't seem to be too radioactively "dirty". Coincidentally, it happens to be a rifle that the old hippy taught her to fire at the commune, so Jane adds it to her growing arsenal. One of the men at church whose daughter's arm was broken by the assailants threatens to shoot one of the captured men. The man is defiant to the last. Jane takes over the responsibility of shooting the man by blasting him with the AK-47.
The church is very surprised. Even Daria is surprised, but Jane is just as defiant. There's some argument about turning the other cheek among the parishoners.
Reverend Harris states that the men have to have one last chance to accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. The man who isn't radioactive prays with the reverend briefly, and then Glen kills him. As for the man who has radiation sickness, he is offered the same opportunity. Bawling, he takes it before the parishoners kill him by rope.
(* * *)
Daria is thinking about Martin Peters. As it turns out, Martin shoved Daria out of the way and coincidentally took a bullet meant for her. Daria assumes this was a massive act of altruism. Jane states that Martin will always have her thanks for doing that.
Martin survives his surgery. Daria comes to see him and gives him a kiss. Martin thanks Daria for saving his life, and they kiss again. They are still friends...and perhaps, something more.
(* * *)
Well, I guess there's no nice way to say it, so you know me, the kind of guy who just thoughtlessly blurts it out in the open.
I remember a music critic saying, "how do you tell Paul McCartney that he has produced a lousy album?" Likewise, "how do you tell someone who worked hard (presumably) on a piece of fan fiction that they just wrote something with very little merit?"
One of the keys to melodrama -- good and bad -- is coincidence. Coincidence, used judiciously, can make a work of good melodrama. Coincidence ,used injudiciously, makes an awful one. In this chapter, Lady Coincidence has staggered into the room, smelling of run, bedecked with beads, showing her jooblies to anyone who will look. Then, she throws up all over the carpet.
We have not one, not two, but a whole lot of authorial applications of coincidence. Someone just happens to have a lead-lined coffin floating around. And a lead-lined hope chest. (I can imagine some young lady saying, "I need a hope chest that can both prepare me for marraige and the cruel, post-apocalypse reality I'll have to live with when the Russkies let fly the nukes.")
And, Jane just happens to recover an AK-47, which happens to be one of the very weapons that this hippie (whom I suspect was John Rambo with a beard) trained her how to use. I was trying to suspend disbelief, but my arms gave out at this point and like Martin Peters, I barely survived the rest of the story.
As for the scene with the captured radicals, it sounded like the parishoners were trying very hard to have their cakes and eat them, too. There has to be some hand-wringing about turning the other cheek, and giving the chance for the executed to join the Methodist church. After these sad preliminaries are out of the way, the reader gets what he wanted (*) -- an execution scene, with the bonus that one of the captured men possesses a cartoon bad guy's levels of defiance. (He would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for those crazy kids.)
Hanging or a bullet to the head isn't suitably dramatic, though. Nor can the executions take place offscreen. Jane has to blow someone away to edge up the drama a few notches. I'm surprised she didn't prop a foot on his chest and say, "yippie-ki-AY, muthafucka".
As for our Martin...well, does anything not go well for this boy? He's got it all, because the author it giving it all to him.
One of the problems of setting up a relationship for Daria...or Jane...is the fact that we've idolized Daria and Jane so much that frankly, nobody is good enough for either of them. Why do you think fans hated Tom Sloane? He wasn't good enough for Daria. Part of the reason Trent was good enough for Daria was that he was offscreen so much you could make him out into whatever you wanted him to be, whereas we were presented with all of Sloane's faults at once.
So what does Martin have going for him?
1. He's a Christian, which seems important to the author.
2. He takes a bullet for Daria. Hey, Trent may have been a nice guy, but he never took a bullet for anyone.
3. He manages to valiantly struggle during surgery, but survives. Now, he's cool instead of just dead. (Which would have been an interesting way to take the story.)
So he's good with weapons (like Ted), reflective (like Trent) and lucky and blessed (like Tom). The major obstacle to any Daria romance is going to be Jane, but Jane approves of this wonderful young lad.
Just a warning: if you read that last Daria/Martin scene, make sure you've eaten no sugar at least three hours before.
(* * *)
Am I scared off? Nah, my blood is up. I'll be reviewing AD21 tomorrow. And like Brother Grimace's beloved Ben Raines, I swear that through hell or high water, I'll make it through AD22 which is the 1/2 way point. Frankly, though, in ordinary circumstances I would have bailed out of "Apocalyptic Daria" with this chapter. Martin, Daria, and Jane would have had to have made their own way without me.
EDIT: I think it's just time for me to climb off "Apocalyptic Daria". I just read the next two chapters. Rather that retread old ground, I think it's time to give some other Daria fanfic a chance. So next time...who knows what I'll review?
(*)- One of the points of melodrama, good or bad, is that all of the reader's deepest beliefs, spoken or unspoken, must be confirmed. Namely, that not only should the bad people die, but you should get a chance to see it in all its bloody glory.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
The Darwin Awards
Finished reading: AD19
Today is my Mom's birthday, so Happy Birthday, Mom! As for me, work has gotten busy near "month-end". I'm just glad enough there was enough of a lull to post.
(* * *)
As our story begins, the Reverend Harris is having a nice, long chat with Mrs. Johnson. It turns out our friendly church gossip has issues with...well, everything, seeing sex behind every bush. (We later learn from Martin Peters that Johnson is rather delusional.)
Glen Bates, Jane's new friend, comes back through the door, all smelly and dirty, claiming that while outside he was face to face with a dead raccoon. Actually, her friend took care of the molestor problem with a burial, which explains why he returned to the church so dirty.
Daria is assigned to watch the spring house with Martin Peters, one of the teens at the church. He can't keep his eyes off her and she ask him what the hell is up. Daria founds out that Martin asked for this watch, and he asks if Daria has a boyfriend. Daria tells him that she's not interested, then has to reassure him that it's not about him. The two agree to be friends.
Back at the church, as Jane is entertaining kids with puppets, she hears a gunshot. As it turns out, a man named Bill Foster has been shot. (Most likely, guarding the church.) The kids are corraled by Jane and taken someplace to hide.
At the spring house, there are intruders nearby. Martin Peters is shot in the shoulder. It appears that unknown assailants plan on capturing the spring house, and Daria to boot. Daria manages to shoot one in the neck with a rifle.
The bad news -- the men have grenades, or at least, a grenade. The good news -- the man with the grenade has no common sense. He throws the grenade at the house so hard it bounces off like a rock, right back towards the hurler. One BOOM! later, and the assault on the spring house comes to a halt.
After the kids are squared away, Jane breaks loose. A battle appears to be in progress, and Jane shoots two raiders (and a third, later, for good measure). Jane is determined to get to Daria. A detail is sent to the spring house, and Daria and Martin are rescued.
(* * *)
At last! Some hot action that doesn't involve lesbianism!
It was rather nice of Glen Bates to go out of his way to bury the dead body, although that might have been done more likely for the assailant's family's sake that for Jane's.
I found the Martin blurting out that he was hot for Mrs. Cooper a little foolish -- the only time I've ever seen people blurt things out like that has been in sitcoms. (Or, well, with Brittany or Kevin, and I don't think Martin's that stupid.) However, Martin's awkwardness was portrayed in a charming way, aside from the lapse just mentioned.
I also found the incident with the grenade both amusing and satisfying. After learning of Jane's sudden marksmanship, and with too many people exhibiting Annie Oakley levels of familiarity with firearms, it's good to see some old-fashioned ineptitude. Stephen King pointed out (not explicitly) in The Stand that it won't be radiation, or rapists, or rampaging dogs that will kill a lot of people in the apocalypse. It will be Charles Darwin, as several wanna-be Rambos off themselves due to their own ignorance. Hopefully, Darwin's magic will work itself through the community in a few months and most of the dumber malefactors will be dead.
Martin Peters getting shot and the raid on the church with Foster's death point out one danger that doesn't seem to be pointed out in apocalyptic fiction -- snipers, or at least people with long-range weapons. Furthermore, people who have gathered together to form supply depots are going to be targets for people looking for supplies, flesh, and power in the post-apocalypse, or at least before the army shows up. Just a handful of assailants can make life at the church miserable, and it was good to see that the church was not the Impregnable Fortress of God.
Of course, we had to see Daria in a gratuitous bra shot. But then again, this is an HBO miniseries. At least, the lesbian angle seems to have been dropped temporarily, which means that all in all, this was a pretty good chapter.
(Alternate plot: My theory that Glen Bates was working hand in hand with Jane's assailant has only been strengthened. He didn't go out to bury that body! He went out to go call his friends from the VFW to attack the church! Buster's been talking about that damn live hand grenade of his for years...at least Glen will never have to hear that drunken rant again!)
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
No Objections
Finished reading: AD18
(The first thing I have to say is -- goddamn, that a long comments thread. Finding Apocalyptic Daria 18 took almost as long as Daria and Jane's unexpected Road Trip.)
Jane is told that Daria has to be watched over the next four days. Daria is also told that she has to stay, because of her previous anaphylaxis. Karen tells Daria that she has been praying for her, both for her healing and her salvation.
We learn the name of the old man who talked to Jane in AD17 -- Glen Bates. A former Marine, he tells Jane that killing is sometimes justified and points out where in the Bible that can be found. One of the church members comments on Glen "fondling" Jane and Glen argues briefly with the busybody.
Exposition Radio clicks on and we learn that martial law has been declared in Maryland and Virginia. Areas are being decontaminated with "volunteers" from nursing homes, jails, and prisons. A few people have been executed by the military for crimes.
The narrative is interrupted by radio pirate Dr. Neon braking in on the frequency. He states that the US Army is acting forecfully against secessionist movements and home-grown militias.
As Daria is chatting outside the church, the power goes out. Daria's medications and the church's food have to be refrigerated and there might not be enough gasoline to keep a generator running. The pastor talks about a "spring house", a structure built above an above-ground spring where items can be kept cold. Jane departs with several others to provide armed security on the trip.
(* * *)
There really isn't much to Chapter 18. It's not so much a self-contained story as providing some justifications for the things that have happened before. Jane is given bibilical justification that she was okay to kill her assailant. Her friend has a name. Daria has to stay a few days longer.
The plot point of the spring house is introduced, and one suspects that finding the spring house will not be without incident, as more or less nothing has been without incident. (Jane and Daria have been singularly unlucky.) Furthermore, we learn that gossip has not been stamped out even in Methodist churches.
I can say that I read it, and that I had no objections reading it. On to AD19.
Monday, January 28, 2008
The Popularity Ladder
Reading: "Turnabout Confusion"
Back at work. No new news. So here's some more fan fiction commentary.
(* * *)
As I'm reading "Turnabout Confusion", Daria continues to have no idea of what's going on. She finds her newfound popularity rather inconvenient. Jane has decided not to eat with Daria while she has all these hangers-on. Meanwhile, Stacy is giving Daria nasty looks.
Quinn is confronted on the roof by an angry Stacy Rowe. Quinn decides to reveal the existence of the bet, and tells Stacy that everything will be back to normal on Monday. Stacy counters by telling Quinn that Sandi plans to kick Stacy and Tiffany out of the Fashion Club, and put in Daria as vice-president.
Quinn explains to Stacy that Brittany is a highly unreliable source of gossip, and was undoubtedly primed. She tells Stacy to keep an eye on Brooke and Tori and attempt to determine their respective motivations for spreading gossip.
Sandi comes to explain to Stacy and Tiffany that the rumors are untrue...but decides that the best way to keep their cards hidden is to act on the rumors. Stacy's task is to feel out Daria for Fashion Club membership, and Tiffany's task is to support the rumor that Stacy and Tiffany might be kicked out of the Fashion Club.
Thinking to herself, Sandi thinks that Quinn might be behind the rumors, and swears that there will be a price to pay if she is....
(* * *)
I think I've finally figured out the problems with "Turnaround Confusion". There is a lot of action going on, but none of it seems to go anywhere. It's like watching hornets buzz about a nest; there seems to be a lot of activitiy but none of it goes anywhere.
The story would be strengthened...a lot...by getting some sense of the characters' motivations. Cheerleader Dawn wants the cheerleaders to be the most popular group in school. The question, however, is why? Aren't the cheerleaders popular enough? Of course, everyone knows that popularity is important in high school, but one wonders why there's such a struggle to be the most popular.
Having never played such games in high school...or even witnessed them...reading "Turnabout Confusion" just gives me the feeling that I'm reading about a "Bizarro Universe" in which everyone is desperate for some sort of undefined power without defining why this power is so important.
Maybe Dennis needs to write a prequel called "High School Popularity and LHS" which would explain why being the MOST popular is so damned important. Although all of the plotting against Quinn indicates that Quinn really isn't that popular in the first place, or if she is, it's a popularity defined by fear of exclusion. If Quinn's popularity were due to her esssential likeability, it would be impossible to supplant.
I've tried to read about this whole problem of popularity. Paul Graham describes popularity as a "zero-sum game", whereas Philip Guo states that there is little upward mobility in popularity. That might be one of the problems I'm having, believing that a person like Quinn could suddenly become unpopular. I suspect that Quinn is one of those persons who is going to remain popular come what may.
Until I can wrap my brain around the problem, the story isn't appealing to me...but this doesn't guarantee that I won't come back to it later.
(* * *)
Next time: A return to the world of "Apocalyptic Daria". My goal is to make it at least to AD22, we'll see how far we manage to travel.
Also: The entire time I've been reading "Turnabout Confusion", I've been tempted to call it "Turnabout Intruder", after the Star Trek episode. God knows how many edits I've had to make.
Back at work. No new news. So here's some more fan fiction commentary.
(* * *)
As I'm reading "Turnabout Confusion", Daria continues to have no idea of what's going on. She finds her newfound popularity rather inconvenient. Jane has decided not to eat with Daria while she has all these hangers-on. Meanwhile, Stacy is giving Daria nasty looks.
Quinn is confronted on the roof by an angry Stacy Rowe. Quinn decides to reveal the existence of the bet, and tells Stacy that everything will be back to normal on Monday. Stacy counters by telling Quinn that Sandi plans to kick Stacy and Tiffany out of the Fashion Club, and put in Daria as vice-president.
Quinn explains to Stacy that Brittany is a highly unreliable source of gossip, and was undoubtedly primed. She tells Stacy to keep an eye on Brooke and Tori and attempt to determine their respective motivations for spreading gossip.
Sandi comes to explain to Stacy and Tiffany that the rumors are untrue...but decides that the best way to keep their cards hidden is to act on the rumors. Stacy's task is to feel out Daria for Fashion Club membership, and Tiffany's task is to support the rumor that Stacy and Tiffany might be kicked out of the Fashion Club.
Thinking to herself, Sandi thinks that Quinn might be behind the rumors, and swears that there will be a price to pay if she is....
(* * *)
I think I've finally figured out the problems with "Turnaround Confusion". There is a lot of action going on, but none of it seems to go anywhere. It's like watching hornets buzz about a nest; there seems to be a lot of activitiy but none of it goes anywhere.
The story would be strengthened...a lot...by getting some sense of the characters' motivations. Cheerleader Dawn wants the cheerleaders to be the most popular group in school. The question, however, is why? Aren't the cheerleaders popular enough? Of course, everyone knows that popularity is important in high school, but one wonders why there's such a struggle to be the most popular.
Having never played such games in high school...or even witnessed them...reading "Turnabout Confusion" just gives me the feeling that I'm reading about a "Bizarro Universe" in which everyone is desperate for some sort of undefined power without defining why this power is so important.
Maybe Dennis needs to write a prequel called "High School Popularity and LHS" which would explain why being the MOST popular is so damned important. Although all of the plotting against Quinn indicates that Quinn really isn't that popular in the first place, or if she is, it's a popularity defined by fear of exclusion. If Quinn's popularity were due to her esssential likeability, it would be impossible to supplant.
I've tried to read about this whole problem of popularity. Paul Graham describes popularity as a "zero-sum game", whereas Philip Guo states that there is little upward mobility in popularity. That might be one of the problems I'm having, believing that a person like Quinn could suddenly become unpopular. I suspect that Quinn is one of those persons who is going to remain popular come what may.
Until I can wrap my brain around the problem, the story isn't appealing to me...but this doesn't guarantee that I won't come back to it later.
(* * *)
Next time: A return to the world of "Apocalyptic Daria". My goal is to make it at least to AD22, we'll see how far we manage to travel.
Also: The entire time I've been reading "Turnabout Confusion", I've been tempted to call it "Turnabout Intruder", after the Star Trek episode. God knows how many edits I've had to make.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Third Person
Reading: "Turnabout Confusion"
As it turns out, two events converged rather nicely this Sunday morning. First, an attack of pruritis that broke my sleep schedule -- the clock reads 3:22 am. Second, the PPMB was up for the staggeringly brief amount of time that allowed me to read the next three sections of "Turnaround Confusion".
(* * *)
We've now moved to the third day of The Big Bet. Quinn, for whatever reason, has decided not to come crawling to Daria on her knees and say, do the dishes for a month. Helen tries to interrogate Quinn, noticing Quinn's change to a dowdier form of sleepwear. However, Jake's ineptitude at putting on pants distracts Helen and she cannot continue the conversation -- but she plans on getting to the bottom of things.
At LHS, Jodie figures that Daria's new look implies that Daria might give school activities a chance. Nothing doing. Daria seems as cynical as ever.
Meanwhile, a whole universe of plotting circles around Quinn and Daria. "Cheerleader Dawn" plots to have Brittany spread a rumor (the ultimate carrier, since Brittany loves spreading rumors but never remembers who told her anything) that Sandi wants to restart the Fashion Club with all-new members, hoping to drive a wedge between Sandi and the two remaning members. Dawn also hopes to have the Drama Club ask Daria to join, as security against Daria joining the Fashion Club. Brooke and Tori have a different plan to ensure that Quinn never returns to her former peak of popularity.
Among the LHS boys, Corey and Zachary post-mortem their respective dates with Daria. Corey is disappointed -- Daria didn't talk, only listen -- and they didn't go anywhere particularly special. On the whole, however, Corey considers the date a plus. He didn't have to spend as much money on Daria (versus, say, Quinn) and he at least got to kiss Daria, whereas Quinn doesn't even like holding hands.
Zachary, however, remains closed-mouthed as to how his date went. Of course, this sparks much curiousity regarding Daria among the guys....
(* * *)
It's interesting (if not necessarily compelling) reading about this sort of "bizarro universe" where cliques and popularity games have reached levels rivaled by, oh, say, the courtiers of the Byzantine Empire. I suspect you really are going to need a scorecard after a few chapters of this just to keep track of all the pieces on the board. Hopefully, Dennis might remind his readers in future chapters of what's going on, just so they don't lose the thread. (Maybe a Dariawiki entry, perhaps?)
"Turnabout Confusion" is a frustrating read. Part of the reason is that in the omnipotent narrator (third person) readers have complete access to what's going on through a God's-eye view. The omnipotent narrator can state what's happening off-screen, how the characters are feeling, who did what to whom, the whole works. In the case of "Turnaround Confusion", however, Daria and Quinn's inner dialogues are absent. They are mere chesspieces moving across the board. We observe how Daria and Quinn react, and what they say, but we get no sense of what they're thinking.
This leaves the reader in the same situation as Cheerleader Dawn, Corey, et. al. The reader is merely left to speculate, and in the case of Daria's date with Corey, we only get second-hand information. (Zach, the bastard, refuses to talk.) If motives are going to be assigned to anyone, the reader will be forced to put on an overcoat and play Columbo, looking for the sparce clues and constructing an inner narrative out of scraps. On the other hand...you can't say that Dennis isn't following the rule of "show, don't tell".
Speaking of "show, don't tell"...is Dennis committing any of Twain's Literary Offenses? Maybe #3, in the sense that Daria and Quinn really aren't "alive" but are reduced to objects of speculation. Or perhaps #18, in that the "observing from third person" isn't really a straightforward style.
I'm still trying to wrap my mind around what I've read. Do I like the style? Do I find it aggravating? No and yes, because I find it frustrating not knowing more.
Did Dennis deliberately create this style or was it a happy accident? Can't answer that one. You'd have to talk to Dennis.
Do I plan on stealing this style for work of my own? Well, like Zach, my lips are sealed. But you might catch a hint of a smile....
As it turns out, two events converged rather nicely this Sunday morning. First, an attack of pruritis that broke my sleep schedule -- the clock reads 3:22 am. Second, the PPMB was up for the staggeringly brief amount of time that allowed me to read the next three sections of "Turnaround Confusion".
(* * *)
We've now moved to the third day of The Big Bet. Quinn, for whatever reason, has decided not to come crawling to Daria on her knees and say, do the dishes for a month. Helen tries to interrogate Quinn, noticing Quinn's change to a dowdier form of sleepwear. However, Jake's ineptitude at putting on pants distracts Helen and she cannot continue the conversation -- but she plans on getting to the bottom of things.
At LHS, Jodie figures that Daria's new look implies that Daria might give school activities a chance. Nothing doing. Daria seems as cynical as ever.
Meanwhile, a whole universe of plotting circles around Quinn and Daria. "Cheerleader Dawn" plots to have Brittany spread a rumor (the ultimate carrier, since Brittany loves spreading rumors but never remembers who told her anything) that Sandi wants to restart the Fashion Club with all-new members, hoping to drive a wedge between Sandi and the two remaning members. Dawn also hopes to have the Drama Club ask Daria to join, as security against Daria joining the Fashion Club. Brooke and Tori have a different plan to ensure that Quinn never returns to her former peak of popularity.
Among the LHS boys, Corey and Zachary post-mortem their respective dates with Daria. Corey is disappointed -- Daria didn't talk, only listen -- and they didn't go anywhere particularly special. On the whole, however, Corey considers the date a plus. He didn't have to spend as much money on Daria (versus, say, Quinn) and he at least got to kiss Daria, whereas Quinn doesn't even like holding hands.
Zachary, however, remains closed-mouthed as to how his date went. Of course, this sparks much curiousity regarding Daria among the guys....
(* * *)
It's interesting (if not necessarily compelling) reading about this sort of "bizarro universe" where cliques and popularity games have reached levels rivaled by, oh, say, the courtiers of the Byzantine Empire. I suspect you really are going to need a scorecard after a few chapters of this just to keep track of all the pieces on the board. Hopefully, Dennis might remind his readers in future chapters of what's going on, just so they don't lose the thread. (Maybe a Dariawiki entry, perhaps?)
"Turnabout Confusion" is a frustrating read. Part of the reason is that in the omnipotent narrator (third person) readers have complete access to what's going on through a God's-eye view. The omnipotent narrator can state what's happening off-screen, how the characters are feeling, who did what to whom, the whole works. In the case of "Turnaround Confusion", however, Daria and Quinn's inner dialogues are absent. They are mere chesspieces moving across the board. We observe how Daria and Quinn react, and what they say, but we get no sense of what they're thinking.
This leaves the reader in the same situation as Cheerleader Dawn, Corey, et. al. The reader is merely left to speculate, and in the case of Daria's date with Corey, we only get second-hand information. (Zach, the bastard, refuses to talk.) If motives are going to be assigned to anyone, the reader will be forced to put on an overcoat and play Columbo, looking for the sparce clues and constructing an inner narrative out of scraps. On the other hand...you can't say that Dennis isn't following the rule of "show, don't tell".
Speaking of "show, don't tell"...is Dennis committing any of Twain's Literary Offenses? Maybe #3, in the sense that Daria and Quinn really aren't "alive" but are reduced to objects of speculation. Or perhaps #18, in that the "observing from third person" isn't really a straightforward style.
I'm still trying to wrap my mind around what I've read. Do I like the style? Do I find it aggravating? No and yes, because I find it frustrating not knowing more.
Did Dennis deliberately create this style or was it a happy accident? Can't answer that one. You'd have to talk to Dennis.
Do I plan on stealing this style for work of my own? Well, like Zach, my lips are sealed. But you might catch a hint of a smile....
Friday, January 25, 2008
Unpersons
Reading: "Turnabout Confusion"
Well, the sleep study is finally finished. I certainly did not get a lot of sleep. There was a twenty minute process of applying electrode leads to my scalp, face, heart, and buttocks. Then, the electricity was applied. It was painful...and in such small portions, too.
The biggest problems were that the bed was softer than I'm used to, and that with so many wires on me, it was hard to turn from side to side without worrying about dislodging something and having the tech come in and reapply everything. (The tech once came in to ask if I could sleep on my back for a while.) I still have this electrode gel in my hair; one shampooing will not be enough to wash it out.
Jane finally catches up with Daria at the end of the day. Daria states that regardless, she isn't enjoying herself. Jane is agast to learn that Daria has two dates that night. Jane reveals her anxiety -- is Daria in over her head -- but Daria states that anything that Quinn could do could never be that hard. Besides, it's personal now.
Quinn, however, has obviously not watched the film "How Not to Be Seen". (Python Pictures Ltd. Inc.) Her truancy is discovered by Ms. Li and reported to Helen, and Quinn is forced back into the classrooms. Tori and Brooke offer the kind of subtle torment that only catty high school girls can offer. Quinn easily parrys Tori's repartee, but Brooke is a bit tougher, spreading gossip in class to the "middle-popular" that QUinn is unable to hear. Quinn worries that Brooke might prove to be a real problem.
As the day comes to a close, Helen and Jake are left to deal with the fallout. quinn retreats to her room and provides no useful information. Daria, meanwhile, stays out to past 11 pm. Helen berates Daria for being late; Daria counters that she's earlier than Quinn.
Helen remains adamant. She criticises Daria's dress, claiming that Daria looks a little trampish, but Daria argues that this is how Quinn looks all the time. Furthermore, there was no hanky-panky between Daria or her dates.
Helen expresses her worry, stating that Quinn has been on more dates than Daria (and presumably, knows when things might be going too far. Daria, finding Helen's comment a disparagment, counters that Daria's lack of dating is something that Helen will no longer have to be concerned about.
(* * *)
I don't know what to think about this second little run of "Turnabout Confusion". Daria seems to have thrown herself into the Quinn role with gusto, maybe a little too quickly. We've gone from hardened cynic to popularity queen in the space of just two days. In Quinn the Brain, Daria was disgusted over the mere act of saying, "Hi! Could you get me a soda?"
Rather than seeing the consequences, I think seeing the process would have been a bit more interesting. Would Daria really have forced herself to make idle chat for three hours or so? This is the "Daria who would go to any lengths to win a bet"; I think this Daria is worth examining a bit.
As for Quinn, it's good to see that she still has her verbal repartee. However, I think that I've put my finger on the problem. Quinn has taken Daria's role as an outcast, but the question is, "then why is anyone worried about Quinn?" As far as we know, the popular kids never spent any time worrying about Daria. Outcasts are simply "not seen" in the world of the popular -- they are "unpersons" in the sense of the old Soviet Gulags. Why would Dawn, or Sandi, or Brooke spend all that time concerned over someone who has taken on the role of a non-person? The only conclusion one can come to is that all of the parties involved -- Sandi, Brooke, Dawn, et. al. -- think that this state of affairs is transitory, and they are now investing time in the hope of making it permanent.
Likewise, we know that Daria went on two dates -- but we don't know anything about how they went. It might have been a bit more interesting to be shown, rather than told. I'm aware that I've not read further; I only hope these issues will be addressed later on. I don't know what's the bigger problem -- that we know nothing about Daria's dates, or that we be presented with an abbreviated synopsis of them.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Inflate to 50 PSI
Reading: Turnabout Confusion
Tonight, I have my sleep study. Looking forward to it with a bit of trepidation. The worst part of it is that I can't have any caffeine after 1 pm; the people at the lab want to make sure that I'm able to fall asleep. A doctor might even prescribe a one-time sleeping pill if that proves impossible.
(* * *)
And now, on to "Turnabout confusion".
At the end of the first day -- Monday -- Daria finds Quinn at home, in tears with Helen wanting to know what's going on. Daria, however, is in a bad mood and has no time for explanations.
Quinn goes to Daria's room for a confrontation. She assumes that Daria is somehow using her brainpower as a form of tricky geek hypnosis, and accuses Daria of somehow engineering the whole bet. Daria responds that she hates all of the unwanted attention people are paying to her body and regrets the bet as well.
The two decide to break off the bet. Daria wonders how Quinn can stand all of the attention. Quinn thoughtlessly replies that she's strong enough to take it and it's nothing for Daria to be ashamed of if she can't.
Unfortunately, this statement causes Daria to angrily break the truce. The bet will be played out until the end of the week.
The next day, Jane observes Daria begin to acclimate to her new found popularity, or at least not be so hostile to the attention paid her. Jane finds this change of mind puzzling.
Quinn walks by. Jane needs answers, so she talks to Quinn and Quinn explains what has happened.
Quinn now has a new plan: to pretty much go into seclusion, hide out and cut a few classes until the bet blows over. Quinn figures that Daria will be the one to crack first.
Jane asks Quinn why she'd be telling Jane this, because Jane would have the option to reveal Quinn's plan to Daria. Quinn replies that Jane won't even get near Daria with all the fuss being made over Daria. Quinn further advises that Jane should make Daria pay for the slight after the bet is over.
(* * *)
This way of writing -- posting by segments -- is a very interesting way of composing a story. Some of Dennis's segments are just two or three paragraphs; others are longer and more detailed.
It would certainly be tempting for writer to misuse this power and get continuous happy feedback and ego-boosts. (Oh, the authors in the past that would have misused this!) But Dennis's premise is quite promising, and it is indeed well worthy of the laudatory attention.
The problem with segmental posting is that it's rather hard to review. I don't want to have to read the entire "Turnabout Confusion" before I review it. Part of the reason why is that I want to experience the story in the same manner as the commentors, only having part of the whole text to look at. This limits the reviewer to making suggestions along the lines of "if the story had only been completed to this part, this is what I might have done."
The premise leads to some interesting conclusions. First, it is implied that "the outcasts" might temporarily team up. Jane is the ultimate outcast, who took Mr. O'Neill's self-esteem class six times before meeting Daria. Jane would never normally talk to Quinn -- and she needs more information -- but it's natural to ask Quinn, because after all, they are both outcasts now. One commenter made the remark that Quinn is starting to use her mind now. One thing about being an outcast...it allows a lot of time for self-reflection.
Second: Quinn, furthermore, is probably right regarding the way things will play out over the next week. Jane has enough understanding of how high school works to know Quinn's words have the ring of truth.
The final comment I would like to make is that we haven't even begun to discuss the intoxicating power of popularity. Like it or not...popularity is powerful. Popularity is, in effect, celebrity. People remark how pretty you are, how brilliant you are, how witty you are. Every boy (or girl) wants to sleep with you, and every girl (or boy) wants to be your best friend. Everything you do is filtered through a rose-colored crystal and is interpreted as sheer brilliance. Sooner or later, you start to believe the bullshit and depend on it.
Quinn has lived with this power all of her life. She knows how to craft it. Like it or not, Quinn was not insulting Daria. She was being truthful. Quinn's ego is "strong enough" to take it. Hell, popularity is what she's sought all her life, and "with great power comes great responsibility (to be fabulous!)".
Daria, however, has had popularity thrust upon her. Brother Grimace continually makes the remark (and he has to stop, because it's in all of his fics) about how Daria thinks Quinn has a valve at the back of her neck which reads "Inflate to 50 PSI". Now, Daria is the one whose ego is being continually boosted by everyone around her. I expect Daria's head to start swelling...and soon.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
I Can't Go Back on a Deal
Reading: Turnabout Confusion
Right now, work is very busy. Lots of stuff to be done before the end of the month, but I've reached a point where I require some assistance from other people. While I'm hurrying up and waiting, I'll add a blog entry. There! Done for another 24 hours!
(* * *)
And now, the beginnings of "Turnabout Confusion":
The story begins with Daria and Quinn having one of their usual arguments, which turns into an argument about how easy the other has it in life. Daria claims that all Quinn ever does is suck up to Sandi, and play people against each other. Quinn claims that all Daria ever does is hang around with her single friend, read, and not do anything.
Daria bets Quinn that Quinn couldn't live Daria's life. Quinn is eager for both of them to swap lives so that Quinn can prove her point. Daria has second thoughts about Quinn's eagerness, but is stuck with making the deal -- if Daria were to decline, Quinn would never let her hear the end of it.
Things change rapidly at Lawndale High. Quinn is put on "permanent fashion sabbatical" by Sandi. The cheerleaders begins scheming to overtake the Fashion Club in popularity. The Three Js are devastated.
Daria has to deal with unwanted attention. Her new clothes show off her, uh, upper assets and not only does she find her range of movement restricted -- you don't reach for high objects when wearing a midriff-baring shirt -- but finds herself fending off the advances of both Upchuck and Kevin Thompson, who is now quite willing to go out with Daria now that she's "hot".
Quinn has bigger problems. None of her former Fashion Club friends are talking to her and no one else at LHS is talking to her either. At her locker, she overhears the voices of the cheerleaders. The cheerleaders are making plans to get Daria on the cheerleading squad, but even if the plan fails, having Daria end up anywhere but the Fashion Club will be a big boost for the cheerleaders -- without Quinn as an moderating influence, Sandi Griffin is sure to alienate everyone. Quinn is devastated by the cheerleaders' speculation that the prospect of Quinn returning to her Fashion Club duties is no threat, because if Daria remains "hot" for much longer, Quinn will be unable to return to her status as the Most Popular of Popular.
(* * *)
Some rather disjointed comments.
1. It seems that there is a large segment missing from the story -- namely, the circumstances by which Quinn was put on "permanent fashion sabbatical". Undoubtedly, this is one of Sandi's power plays to expel Quinn from the Fashion Club. Quinn was ordered to take a sabbatical in "Quinn the Brain" when she started dressing in all-black; it seems that Sandi has decided to make Quinn's vacation a permanent one.
2. Given the above, I don't see why Quinn wouldn't go running back to the Fashion Club on bended knee. It does seem that Daria has the better of the deal. We'll hopefully learn more in future installments.
3. A great line from when Daria gives the reasons why she's turning down Kevin's request for a date. "One: I swapped you for a rat in sophomore year, and I can't go back on a deal."
4. The use of "Dawn" as a cheerleader's name -- I'm assuming that Dawn is a cheerleader; it hasn't been stated explicitly -- is very confusing. Dawn is the name of the silent and very heavy-set girl who wears headphones.
Anyway, an amusing start, even with the quibbles above. Looking forward to more.
Right now, work is very busy. Lots of stuff to be done before the end of the month, but I've reached a point where I require some assistance from other people. While I'm hurrying up and waiting, I'll add a blog entry. There! Done for another 24 hours!
(* * *)
And now, the beginnings of "Turnabout Confusion":
The story begins with Daria and Quinn having one of their usual arguments, which turns into an argument about how easy the other has it in life. Daria claims that all Quinn ever does is suck up to Sandi, and play people against each other. Quinn claims that all Daria ever does is hang around with her single friend, read, and not do anything.
Daria bets Quinn that Quinn couldn't live Daria's life. Quinn is eager for both of them to swap lives so that Quinn can prove her point. Daria has second thoughts about Quinn's eagerness, but is stuck with making the deal -- if Daria were to decline, Quinn would never let her hear the end of it.
Things change rapidly at Lawndale High. Quinn is put on "permanent fashion sabbatical" by Sandi. The cheerleaders begins scheming to overtake the Fashion Club in popularity. The Three Js are devastated.
Daria has to deal with unwanted attention. Her new clothes show off her, uh, upper assets and not only does she find her range of movement restricted -- you don't reach for high objects when wearing a midriff-baring shirt -- but finds herself fending off the advances of both Upchuck and Kevin Thompson, who is now quite willing to go out with Daria now that she's "hot".
Quinn has bigger problems. None of her former Fashion Club friends are talking to her and no one else at LHS is talking to her either. At her locker, she overhears the voices of the cheerleaders. The cheerleaders are making plans to get Daria on the cheerleading squad, but even if the plan fails, having Daria end up anywhere but the Fashion Club will be a big boost for the cheerleaders -- without Quinn as an moderating influence, Sandi Griffin is sure to alienate everyone. Quinn is devastated by the cheerleaders' speculation that the prospect of Quinn returning to her Fashion Club duties is no threat, because if Daria remains "hot" for much longer, Quinn will be unable to return to her status as the Most Popular of Popular.
(* * *)
Some rather disjointed comments.
1. It seems that there is a large segment missing from the story -- namely, the circumstances by which Quinn was put on "permanent fashion sabbatical". Undoubtedly, this is one of Sandi's power plays to expel Quinn from the Fashion Club. Quinn was ordered to take a sabbatical in "Quinn the Brain" when she started dressing in all-black; it seems that Sandi has decided to make Quinn's vacation a permanent one.
2. Given the above, I don't see why Quinn wouldn't go running back to the Fashion Club on bended knee. It does seem that Daria has the better of the deal. We'll hopefully learn more in future installments.
3. A great line from when Daria gives the reasons why she's turning down Kevin's request for a date. "One: I swapped you for a rat in sophomore year, and I can't go back on a deal."
4. The use of "Dawn" as a cheerleader's name -- I'm assuming that Dawn is a cheerleader; it hasn't been stated explicitly -- is very confusing. Dawn is the name of the silent and very heavy-set girl who wears headphones.
Anyway, an amusing start, even with the quibbles above. Looking forward to more.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
I Like to Watch
Finished reading: AD17
Well, I'm two days away from the sleep apnea study. On Thursday night, I'll be strapped into a harness and be allowed to snooze away while a lab tech watches me snore. The tech will be reading a monitor that will be able to determine if I'm waking up in the middle of the night, then falling asleep. (Most people don't remember these mini-spells of awareness.)
If it's determined that I'm not getting enough restful sleep, there are options. One of them is a CPAP machine, meaning "continuous positive airway pressure". Sleep apnea sufferers wake up sometimes because they're not getting oxygen for one reason or another. A CPAP basically shoves oxygen down your throat every so often. Some people, however, have trouble sleeping with one of these things on.
We'll see how Thursday turns out.
(* * *)
And now onto the wonderful world of "Apocalyptic Daria".
Daria and Jane have made it to a refugee center at a church in Carthage. As they walk about, they find a few people giving them the stink eye. Daria notes that it's just like high school.
Jane lets Daria know that one of the men at the church propositioned her. Daria is surprised, as the man has a wife and children...which of course, never stopped anyone from propositioning anyone for sex.
The two find ways to keep themselves entertained. Jane puts on a puppet show for the kids, but Daria is asked by a young teen what is it exactly that Daria and Jane do...in bed?
(Sidenote: Remember the game when you open a fortune cookie and you have to read the fortune to everyone at the table and add the words "in bed"? Try it sometime.)
Apparently, one of the Head Witches at the church has decided that Daria and Jane are giving each other secret lesbian signs. Daria asks the girl if she has a best friend, and if she does, does that make the two of them lesbians? Obviously not.
Later, Daria gets her wound checked out. It turns out that the wound is infected and Daria is put on antibiotics -- but her skin breaks out that night. She clearly has had a reaction and is given epinephrine.
At the community room, the preacher calls for some volunteers to go mushroom hunting. Jane volunteers, her six-gun strapped at her side. As it turns out, the man who propositioned Jane has more sinister intent and follows Jane. His goal -- sexual assault.
He manages to disarm Jane, but is unaware that Jane carries a second gun. This proves out to be a fatal miscalculation for our rapist, whose body is left abandoned somewhere to grow mushrooms.
Jane returns, clearly shaken by the experience. However, an older parishoner tells Jane that he saw what happened out there and that the man had put the moves on several teen girls at the church. He consoles the two girls. The chapter ends with the dead man's wife asking someone at the church if anyone has seen her husband.
(* * *)
Gratuitous Lesbian References: 4 (*) -- might actually be five. There's the outside possibility that the 13-or-14 year old girl was not so much curious about Daria and Jane as she was angling for an invitation to join the Lesbian Club. ("Dear Penthouse...I never believed I'd be writing you, but I met these two girls at this refugee shelter....") Let's make it 4 1/2.
Meaningless exposition: 1, the scene where Daria's wound is inflamed. My rule is if it doesn't move the plot forward and if it won't be referenced again, why include it? This could have been disposed of by one long sentence stating that Daria had had a reaction. We don't need to know the ins and outs.
...
Hoo boy. Not the best chapter of "Apocalyptic Daria".
First, the lesbian references have gotten beyond annoying and are now reaching aggravating. I don't know if I can take much more of this joking. I might have to write my own chapter of "Apocalyptic Daria" where Daria and Jane find an old T-shirt making shop and create new shirts.
WE ARE NOT LESBIANS.
STOP ASKING.
THAT MEANS YOU, JANE.
By now, if I was Daria, I might start to seriously look for other friends. No wonder she wants to hook up with Martin Peters; at least he's not making lesbian jokes every five minutes. "Martin, promise me that when we're married, we'll move faaaaaaar away from Jane Lane." Nothing wrong with being gay, but I suppose there's nothing more aggravating than being around a closeted gay.
Second...the whole sexual assault thing. Let's post-mortem Round #2 of The Perils of Jane/Daria.
Oddly enough, the second assault parallels the first one. Married man with wife and kids wants unwilling teen action. I thought that thematically it was pretty bold, sort of like ending a car chase in a movie...and then another car chase takes place. Never be afraid to repeat yourself.
However, the entire things smacks of heavy melodrama. Let's review the rules of melodrama:
1. Sensational "movie of the week" topic
2. Building of suspense
3. Use of coincidence to move the plot
4. Moral which reaffirms the beliefs of the audience, which might be opposed to the audience's own stated beliefs.
Well, the entire rape thing already checks off #1 and #2. Attempted sexual assaults are pretty sensational, and the suspense is virtually built-in.
Now let's take a look at #3. Jane, coincidentally, heads off apart from the others. Our assailant, coincidentally, follows her and gets her alone. Coincidentally, Jane is carrying a second handgun. That's the big coincidence right there, the whole megillah. Without that final part of the coincidence, the assault might have been successful...which would have made it a different story altogether.
I'll get back to #3 later, but let's look at #4. The moral pretty much confirms the beliefs of the audience. "Rapists are evil and deserve to get shot." There are quite a few people that would be quite glad to affirm that statement in public.
From "The Simpsons":
Barlow: Mayor Quimby, you're well-known, sir, for your lenient stance on crime. But suppose for a second that your house was ransacked by thugs, your family tied up in the basement with socks in their mouths, you try to open the door but there's too much blood on the knob --
Quimby: What is your question?
Barlow: My question is about the budget, sir.
Anyway, subverting #4 could have made for a much more interesting chapter. Suppose Jane was able to talk her rapist out of it. Suppose she was actually able to subdue him somehow and turn him over for a trial. I think either one of those outcomes -- and looking at whatever consequences followed -- would have taken the tale in a much more interesting direction than standard post-apocalypse fare. Yes, I'm sure we can all enjoy the thrill of shooting rapists dead, dead, dead -- but don't we get enough of that standard fare in TV and movies, already? Let's see a different spin!
Now, our old man. There was one part of the story which was rather disturbing and not followed up in the comments.
Quoting:
"Excuse me, miss," he said. Jane turned around and her face turned red as the man reached her. "Are you all right?" he asked.
Jane kept her voice steady. "Why wouldn't I be all right?" she asked back.
"I saw what happened out there. (Emphasis mine -- CG.) Are you all right?"
I love how nonchalant this is. "Oh, I just happened to be wandering about gathering my mushrooms and I happened to notice that you were having a bit of a problem with a sexual assault. I decided to wait until we both got back to the church. So...how you doing?"
There's about a thousand unanswered questions there. I can just hear Jane think. Gee asshole, thanks for the help out there. Of course, Mr. Exposition tells Jane that this guy is a horndog but -- get this -- out of concern for his family they've decided not to do a damn thing about it. Until, of course, Jane solved the problem for them. "Thanks for that assist, stranger." What is this, the Catholic Church? (*)
I don't even bring up the possibility that the Old Man might have had a prior arrangement with Mr. Malefactor.
"Hey, I'll rape this girl!"
"Cool! I'll watch!" Who says community spirit disappears in the post-apocalyptic world?
Anyway, bad chapter. No biscuit. I'm going to have to walk away from the post-apocalyptic world for a bit until I can get my bearing back.
Next time: Quinn and Daria play dress-up -- with no real consequences, obviously -- in Dennis's "Turnabout Confusion"!
(*) (Editor's note. CINCGREEN has been suitably chastised for that anti-Catholic remark. He is referring to several high-profile cases where the officials of the Catholic Church looked the other way in isolated instances of child abuse. In no way is he implying that either the clergy of the Catholic Church or its parishoners are sexually-repressed pedophiles. )
Monday, January 21, 2008
Slans
Finished reading: AD16
Speaking of apocalyptic literature, I've just finished reading a "apocalypse" story called World War Z by Max Brooks. The premise of the novel is a "Zombie Holocaust" -- Zombies overwhelm the world and humanity struggles against them. The book is written in the form of individual accounts. The fun part is that if you look carefully, you can see George W. Bush, Karl Rove, Paris Hilton, Bill Maher, Ann Coulter, Colin Powell, Howard Dean and others and find out how -- and if -- they survived "World War Z".
(* * *)
We're back in the proverbial saddle for about five more parts of "Apocalyptic Daria".
Daria and Jane prepare to leave the swinging bachelor bad and get on the road, with clean clothes (from a working washer and drier) and hit the road listening to the sounds of Ray Stevens and Weird Al Yankovich.
While on the road, the two find a pack of dogs eating some large animal. They don't know what it is, but first Jane and then Dari begin firing on the dogs. Some dogs are killed, and some are wounded, and Jane determines that the animal might be a horse or a cow. Daria wants to try to kill as many dogs as possible, but Jane convinces Daria to let it go.
The two drive to a refugee center at a Methodist church in a town called Carthage, looking for a doctor for Daria's wounds. They meet Dr. Kathy Wilson, who as it turns out is a fan of survivalist novels and happens to be stocked up with rabies vaccine. (Daria is concerned that she might have contracted rabies from the scratch.)
Unfortunately for Daria and Jane, Dr. Wilson insists that Daria take the full course of the rabies treatment, which is five shots over twenty-eight days. Daria and Jane resign themselves to remaining in Carthage over the course of the next month.
(* * *)
We've already categorized some of the sins of "Apocalyptic Daria" and I'll simply mark a tally and go on:
Lesbian fanservice: 1
Daria crying: 1
Needless exposition: 1
However, none of those sins are egregious enough to spoil the series for me. Besides, this segment of AD is a little bit of filler designed to move the plot forward and get the Dynamic Duo to the next stop on the Apocalypse Train. We'll take a look at Carthage next time when we review AD17.
"Ben Raines" is mentioned in this story -- he was also mentioned in one of the earlier comments threads -- and I looked into the writings of William W. Johnstone, the man who wrote a series called the "Ashes" series with the title of every book "X in/from/of the Ashes". Johnstone must have written two hundred books of various genres in the period slightly over twenty years, which makes me wonder how good any of those books could be. (I remember reading a few books of "The Executioner" series by Don Pendleton, a series which would partially inspire Marvel Comics to create "The Punisher", so I'm not immune to the charms of a well-crafted pulp.)
There are a couple of theories as to why apocalypseliterature is so mesmerizing, and neither of them are flattering. The first sort of comes from the "fans are slans" attitude of science fiction from the 1950s. A "Slan" was a sort of superbeing invented by science fiction author A. E. van Vogt, and fans of the time invented the slogan "fans aer slans" -- namely, that science fiction fans are, well, smarter and better than the "mundane" non-fans out there. The theory is that many of these apocalypse fans see themselves in the "smarter and better" group, namely, "when the world falls apart, I will survive, because I've seen 'A Boy and His Dog'."
The other theory comes from Kurt Vonnegut. In "Hocus Pocus", part of the plot deals with the escape of several black prison inmates into a college town. The racial element is important, because Vonnegut writes that the hunkered-down inhabitants of the rural college town finally had what they had secretly wanted -- to turn the entire area into a "free-fire zone" where killing the kinds of people you had never liked was legal and justified.
In the same sense, one could hypothesize that apocalyptic literature appeals to the same wish-fulfillment -- that now that society has collapse, I can get my boomstick and "the world will be cleansed", becoming a place where I can be James Bond 2007 with a "license to kill".
I suppose my big problem with apocalypse lit is that I never experience the sheer terror of what a post-apocalyptic setting would be like. Johnstone's hero in "Ashes" is a mercenary, f'r pete's sake, undoubtedly skilled with all kinds of firearms. I can load a gun and fire one, but I'd no sooner call myself a gunfighter than put on a cowboy hat and strap a six-shooter to my side.
The closest anyone ever got to describing post-apocalyptic terror was Stephen King in the first half of "The Stand" -- the half I could read before the religious/metaphysical part of the book kicks in and it becomes standard horror-book tripe. Max Brook's "World War Z" comes close to what King accomplished.
What did they do that other apocalypse writers fail to do? They convey the fact that you can do everything right and still die, that life in the post-apocalypse is grossly unfair, that the strongest men perish and the weakest somehow surive, and that without society, like is nasty, brutish and short and we are all playthings of chance.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Friday, January 18, 2008
Jane Brinker
Finished reading: Quinngali, Chapter 4
This morning, I decided to give back to the community by giving blood. However, I wonder if I'm getting a little too thick in the arms to give blood -- the blood technicians had a devil of a time getting a vein.
A friend of mine e-mailed me an interesting mathematics problem, which has me puzzled. It's a problem in probability, that most elusive of the mathematical sciences. Right now, I'm still thinking of a solution; I'll have to sneak study on the problem in between bouts of actual work. So thank Goodness it's Friday.
(* * *)
And now, back to the last completed chapter of "Quinngali".
When we last left Quinn, she had been woken from her dream by her mother, angrily calling for her from downstairs. It appears that Quinn has run up five thousand dollars worth of charges on Helen's gold credit card and Helen has just received the information.
Helen mentions some of the fashion companies that Quinn has charged. However, these companies are in a slightly higher league than those found a Cashman's. Regardless, Quinn knows that she did not run up a five thousand dollar bill.
Quinn then remembers that Helen gave Daria the gold card to go to Books-by-the-Ton. Quinn argues that Daria must have purchased the clothes, having a delayed "fashion conversion". Helen laughs at the very thought that Daria could run up a large bill on expensive clothes.
Until Quinn comes clean about the clothes, Helen devises a punishment of her own. Quinn will have to wear Daria's clothes -- green jacket, orange t-shirt and pleated skirt -- until Quinn can come up with the cash or the clothes. She will be dropped off at school and picked up to preclude the chance of her changing her wardrobe.
Quinn figures that the gold card must have been stolen or lost. After all, Daria couldn't be spending the money on clothes, could she?
In the meantime, Jane is trying to deal with Daria. Daria is already having her hair restyled and recolored, and yes, she was the one that spent all the money on clothes.
As it turned out, Jane showed Daria the video of Quinn hypnotising Daria the same day. However, it was a very bad idea according to the literature. It strengthened the hypnotic commands while degrading their meaning. Daria only "defiance" available -- subconsciously -- is to take the suggestion to an extreme, and ten years of surpressed fashion consciousness is now bursting like Mount Vesuvius.
Jane uses what she has learned to keep Daria from veering off too much into her new fashion consciousness. Jane is seriously worried -- from reading the literature -- that Daria is starting to go mad.
Meanwhile, Quinn shows up at school early, dressed in her Daria gear. Waiting on the stoop, she bumps into Ted Dewitt-Clinton, who momentarily takes her for Daria. He comments that Quinn is much like Daria. Quinn begins to worry about her own sense of identity.
(* * *)
Chapter Four is a bit more uneven than the previous two chapters. The Helen/Quinn conversation is a little too longwinded and could use some serious hacking.
The middle part -- Jane's following Daria about -- is stronger. We learn a little bit more about the rules of hypnosis, and after some slow-going prose at the Scissor Wizard, the flow of the story is reestablished. A new threat is introduced -- namely, that as a dam might crumble with just a few watery leaks, Daria's consciousness might crumble with this sudden release of repressed activity and Daria might go insane. (If I were Jane, I'd be wondering if I should get some help right now. Of course, the problem would be, "who would believe her?")
I believe Scissors was trying to draw some parallels between Daria and Quinn with the visit of Ted Dewitt-Clinton, but I believed that the parallels could have been drawn more vividly. This segment of the story is too short. Hopefully, this theme that "Quinn is something like Daria" will be reintroduced in future chapters, or expanded upon.
Still, there's nothing to keep me from reading Chapter Five when it comes out. If it comes out. Scissors is slow at these stories; he takes his time. We'll just simply have to wait for the Master Craftsman, fanfiction's Yen Lo, to finish his treatise. Until then, self-hypnosis will be our only recorse.
Next time: Sorry, no more Quinngali to read. We'll pick up the next five chapters of "Apocalyptic Daria".
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Everybody Lies
It's quite odd, but when I left work yesterday, it was snowing. I don't believe there's been so much as a flake of snow in North Georgia for the last couple of years, so to step outside and see a "Winter Wonderland" was amazing, and a bit frightening -- I know Southern towns can become paralyzed by snow. Fortunately, the snow did not turn the roads icy and bring traffic to a standstill; unfortunately work was not cancelled and so here I am.
(* * *)
Now on to Chapter 3 (I believe) of "Quinngali".
When the scene begins, Quinn finds herself in a strange place, apparently a restaurant filled with people. She appears to be in a hospital bed behind a sushi bar. Daria is there as well. This is clearly some sort of hallucination or dream.
A certain scruffy-looking, obnoxious doctor who walks with a cane tells Quinn what might be a few truths about herself, if anything that's happening in this twisted reality can be trusted.
Beavis and Butt-head are there, and the Doctor points out that Quinn did not cause the deaths of Beavis and Butt-head. Tiffany, Stacy, and Bret Strand are there and the doctor states that Quinn has affected none of their romantic lives with her hypnosis.
How is this so? The doctor tells Quinn that her powers of hypnosis are better categorized as delusional beliefs. Stacy and Tiffany and Bret could be hypnotised into romantic entanglements because -- well, they're hot, horny teens. Sandi could be "hypnotised" into gaining weight after her leg injury due to her increased caloric intake and immobility. All of Quinn's "successes" at hypnotism are either happenstance or because she "hypnotised" her "victims" into what they wanted anyway.
So how does this explain Quinn's absolute control over Daria, to the point of Daria's humiliation? Dr. H explains that Quinn and Daria suffer from folie a deux -- a mutual delusion shared by and reinforced by two people. The delusion was caused by a childhood incident where Daria put a rubber snake in Quinn's bed.
Quinn is stunned when Dr. H claims that this has crippled Quinn's libido. Quinn cannot focus any of her energy on erotic objects. She is not bisexual, she is asexual. Her lack of interest in food -- as compared to the other members of the Fashion Club -- indicates that she furthermore cannot make a substitution that a repressed libido might make.
Quinn had a breakdown when she found the rubber snake in her bed. Daria, who never liked Quinn and always called for Quinn's "punishment" suffered from the trauma of seeing Quinn suffer for it and Daria was overwhelmed with guilt. After Quinn recovered, she read a cheap book on hypnosis and told Daria that she was punishing Daria for the snake incident. A traumatized Daria went along with it and from that moment, their delusions began reinforcing each other.
Dr. H continues that Quinn's "hypnosis" has actually helped Daria. By keeping Daria away from mindless pop-cultural obsessions, and fashion and weight obsessions, and boy craziness, Daria has actually turned out more healthy than most young women of her age.
So how is this folie a deux cured? By long-term separation of the people suffering the delusion. However, Daria has a chance of a good life now that Quinn has loosened her controls. Unfortunately, Quinn's crippled libido means that she can never truly find pleasure and will remain unhappy for the rest of her life. Therefore, the separation needs to be permanent.
And that's when the Japanese swordsman shows up...but he never makes the cut, as shouting from downstairs finally wakes Quinn up....
(* * *)
The reason I find this chapter of Quinngali my most enjoyable is that it subverts the entire paradigm of the "Dream Sequence".
In most dream sequences of fanfiction, the dream is presented with imaginary threats. Generally, the shift from reality to "dreamtime" is so sudden and abrupt that there is no suspension of disbelief. This happened with the dream sequence in "Apocalyptic Daria" -- it had even been italicized -- and most readers were simply marking time till the end.
However, not only does Scissors MacGillicutty keep the dream sequence interesting -- by never revealing the names of some characters and by keeping other characters "pseudocanonical" -- he uses the moment to construct a wholly different reality than the one presented by Nemo Blank. Quinn's fine doctor in the dream presents an entirely different -- and mostly plausible -- alternate explanation of how Quinn could have gained the powers of hypnosis.
So which is the true explanation? Are Daria and Jane barking up the wrong tree in their study? Is Daria just delusional? Is the dream the key to the truth? How much of the dream is truth and how much is lies? Suddenly, everything we've learned previously has been thrown into a cocked hat and were are forced to consider alternatives to the established reality of the story.
Furthermore, the examination of Quinn's sexuality is priceless. The argument by the Good Doctor had a strong ring of truth, namely that Quinn shows very little interest in romance, merely an interest in what other people can do for her. The argument for Quinn's asexuality has strong foundation in canon, with only Quinn's relationship with David Sorenson in "Is It Fall Yet?" serving as a counter-argument. No wonder so many "Quinn in love" stories seem to ring false; the reality at the end of "Is It College Yet?" with Business Quinn haranguing her subordinates seems more likely than the one of "Write Where it Hurts" where Quinn is married with three kids.
All in all, the second of two strong chapters from Scissors MacGillicutty. There is one more chapter to be read, then we'll take a brief foray back into the world of "Apocalyptic Daria", and then we'll tackle one more fanfic.
(* * *)
Now on to Chapter 3 (I believe) of "Quinngali".
When the scene begins, Quinn finds herself in a strange place, apparently a restaurant filled with people. She appears to be in a hospital bed behind a sushi bar. Daria is there as well. This is clearly some sort of hallucination or dream.
A certain scruffy-looking, obnoxious doctor who walks with a cane tells Quinn what might be a few truths about herself, if anything that's happening in this twisted reality can be trusted.
Beavis and Butt-head are there, and the Doctor points out that Quinn did not cause the deaths of Beavis and Butt-head. Tiffany, Stacy, and Bret Strand are there and the doctor states that Quinn has affected none of their romantic lives with her hypnosis.
How is this so? The doctor tells Quinn that her powers of hypnosis are better categorized as delusional beliefs. Stacy and Tiffany and Bret could be hypnotised into romantic entanglements because -- well, they're hot, horny teens. Sandi could be "hypnotised" into gaining weight after her leg injury due to her increased caloric intake and immobility. All of Quinn's "successes" at hypnotism are either happenstance or because she "hypnotised" her "victims" into what they wanted anyway.
So how does this explain Quinn's absolute control over Daria, to the point of Daria's humiliation? Dr. H explains that Quinn and Daria suffer from folie a deux -- a mutual delusion shared by and reinforced by two people. The delusion was caused by a childhood incident where Daria put a rubber snake in Quinn's bed.
Quinn is stunned when Dr. H claims that this has crippled Quinn's libido. Quinn cannot focus any of her energy on erotic objects. She is not bisexual, she is asexual. Her lack of interest in food -- as compared to the other members of the Fashion Club -- indicates that she furthermore cannot make a substitution that a repressed libido might make.
Quinn had a breakdown when she found the rubber snake in her bed. Daria, who never liked Quinn and always called for Quinn's "punishment" suffered from the trauma of seeing Quinn suffer for it and Daria was overwhelmed with guilt. After Quinn recovered, she read a cheap book on hypnosis and told Daria that she was punishing Daria for the snake incident. A traumatized Daria went along with it and from that moment, their delusions began reinforcing each other.
Dr. H continues that Quinn's "hypnosis" has actually helped Daria. By keeping Daria away from mindless pop-cultural obsessions, and fashion and weight obsessions, and boy craziness, Daria has actually turned out more healthy than most young women of her age.
So how is this folie a deux cured? By long-term separation of the people suffering the delusion. However, Daria has a chance of a good life now that Quinn has loosened her controls. Unfortunately, Quinn's crippled libido means that she can never truly find pleasure and will remain unhappy for the rest of her life. Therefore, the separation needs to be permanent.
And that's when the Japanese swordsman shows up...but he never makes the cut, as shouting from downstairs finally wakes Quinn up....
(* * *)
The reason I find this chapter of Quinngali my most enjoyable is that it subverts the entire paradigm of the "Dream Sequence".
In most dream sequences of fanfiction, the dream is presented with imaginary threats. Generally, the shift from reality to "dreamtime" is so sudden and abrupt that there is no suspension of disbelief. This happened with the dream sequence in "Apocalyptic Daria" -- it had even been italicized -- and most readers were simply marking time till the end.
However, not only does Scissors MacGillicutty keep the dream sequence interesting -- by never revealing the names of some characters and by keeping other characters "pseudocanonical" -- he uses the moment to construct a wholly different reality than the one presented by Nemo Blank. Quinn's fine doctor in the dream presents an entirely different -- and mostly plausible -- alternate explanation of how Quinn could have gained the powers of hypnosis.
So which is the true explanation? Are Daria and Jane barking up the wrong tree in their study? Is Daria just delusional? Is the dream the key to the truth? How much of the dream is truth and how much is lies? Suddenly, everything we've learned previously has been thrown into a cocked hat and were are forced to consider alternatives to the established reality of the story.
Furthermore, the examination of Quinn's sexuality is priceless. The argument by the Good Doctor had a strong ring of truth, namely that Quinn shows very little interest in romance, merely an interest in what other people can do for her. The argument for Quinn's asexuality has strong foundation in canon, with only Quinn's relationship with David Sorenson in "Is It Fall Yet?" serving as a counter-argument. No wonder so many "Quinn in love" stories seem to ring false; the reality at the end of "Is It College Yet?" with Business Quinn haranguing her subordinates seems more likely than the one of "Write Where it Hurts" where Quinn is married with three kids.
All in all, the second of two strong chapters from Scissors MacGillicutty. There is one more chapter to be read, then we'll take a brief foray back into the world of "Apocalyptic Daria", and then we'll tackle one more fanfic.
Monday, January 14, 2008
What Do We Covet?
Finished reading: Quinngali, Scissors MacGillicutty section II
It might be another couple of days before I write another review. Work is very busy and I haven't been feeling all that well. So if there's no review tomorrow, don't feel slighted. (Some of you might even celebrate! L'CHAIM!)
(* * *)
Jane has revealed to Daria what Quinn has done. Daria is obviously quite angry with the years of "brain rape". She has managed to choose a "new wardrobe", but the thousand dollar wardrobe that she has chosen is simply a variation in type and not in kind -- the materials are much more expensive, and there are superficial differences, but it's the same jacket/t-shirt/pleated skirt that Daria always wears.
Jane can only commisserate. She doesn't know why Quinn has done what she has done, but her reading of the hypnotism manuals makes it clear that even when the hypnotised subject knows he or she has been hypnotised, it makes no difference -- the structure remains and is not easy to remove. As Jane has only read to that point, Daria takes over the task of reading and hopefully undoing what Quinn has done.
Some time later, Daria shared with Jane what she has learned, with the promise that Jane will pay as much attention as she can. It turns out that according to the models of the subconscious explained by the manuscript writers, the subconscious is a completely irrational agent. It either wants things, or doesn't want them, and is not the "bedrock of the self". The subconscious has no moral nature, and cannot evaluate what it wants or what it doesn't want. It can only soak things up randomly, like a sponge.
The problem is that the giver of the commands -- Quinn -- has a subconscious that works in a like manner. Therefore, Quinn's hypnosis has nothing to do with Daria's "inner self", but with Quinn's. Quinn is repelled by the side of herself that Daria represented before she was hynotised. Quinn might tell herself that she's "punishing" Daria by making her act in the cynical, dry, fashion-ignorant manner we're used to, but the punishment is actually an attempt of Quinn's subconscious to purge itself of what repels it. Quinn wants Daria's life, and Daria's "punishment" is to absorb the life Quinn wants, to take it away.
With increasing intensity, Daria rants that Quinn's lessening of the controls -- the orders to buy slightly better clothes -- means that Quinn's subconscious has changed. Quinn is no longer repelled, and the two personalities are going to merge...!
...
Daria wakes up. She made the mistake of smiling at Trent a third time when he entered the door, and immediately thought of death. While Daria rests, Jane takes up the tast of reading what Daria has underlined.
(* * *)
At last, Part Three grabs one's attention in the same way as Part One, and then some.
The strength of Part One was that Nemo Blank established a postulate, that Daria's personality was in a sense "unnatural". In Part Three, it is established how unnatural, with some terrifying conclusions.
The plot threads that Nemo Blank established in Part One are picked up in Part Three...but just when the threads are tied off, we find that there are even more plot threads and the situation threatens to turn into one big mess. There's an old saying that "in life, when one door closes, another door opens." Scissors MacGillicutty has turned that on its ear -- "as one door opens, another door closes".
Yes, Daria finds out that she has been hypnotised -- but it doesn't help her. Even with full knowledge of what Quinn has done, Daria's own mind simply acts against her, the structures impossible to break. Furthermore, we learn about Quinn's wants and needs, and the "whys" of what Quinn has done extend beyond the convenience of removing a rival into an assault on the identities of both Daria and Quinn.
Furthermore, Quinn's "easing up" on Daria brings no promise of resolution.
"What she makes me go through is the 'unilateral suggestion to self-destruction' that Serov writes about, it's just pushed off onto me—but she made a mistake when she gave me the suggestion that I could indulge in clothes and be social again—she broke a hole in the wall she built! We're going to become what we always were now—we're going to become like each other! IT'S THE ONLY WAY THIS CAN BE UNDONE! THERE IS NO ALTERNATIVE!"
Quinn and Daria's identities are bound together -- both have been permanently cast in the terms of Quinn's subconsciousness, which is an irrational animal that does not know what it wants, only that things repel it and don't repel it. In a sense, Quinn has simply remade Daria into the anti-Quinn, and acting in opposition to that which has been done only makes one...into...Quinn.
This is probably not the correct interpretation of events -- but so what? Scissors simply leaves more questions for the reader to ask, more interpretations to build, with no promise that any one of them is correct and no hope that a solution is easily at hand. The narrative train we're riding is going into a tunnel, and we don't know if there's a light on the other side...or another train.
All in all, a great Part II. And if you think that Nemo Blank has Scissors MacGillicutty beat on trippiness, you haven't read Part III yet.
Thus, the selection of the quote, which comes from The Silence of the Lambs:
Hannibal Lecter: First principles, Clarice. Simplicity. Read Marcus Aurelius. Of each particular thing ask: what is it in itself? What is its nature? What does he do, this man you seek?
Clarice Starling: He kills women...
Hannibal Lecter: No. That is incidental. What is the first and principal thing he does? What needs does he serve by killing?
Clarice Starling: Anger, um, social acceptance, and, huh, sexual frustrations, sir...
Hannibal Lecter: No! He covets. That is his nature. And how do we begin to covet, Clarice? Do we seek out things to covet? Make an effort to answer now.
Clarice Starling: No. We just...
Hannibal Lecter: No. We begin by coveting what we see every day. Don't you feel eyes moving over your body, Clarice? And don't your eyes seek out the things you want?
Quinn has seen something in Daria. She does not covet it, however. She repudiates it. But there is no why behind it all. It is left to Quinn's subconscious, and that it something beyond the control of either Daria...or Quinn.
By the way, I've been asked more than once about the quote about Losers With Big Eyebrows. That quote is from the Futurama episode, "Time Keeps on Slippin'".
"Drugs are for losers, and hypnosis is for losers with big, weird eyebrows!"
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Losers With Big Weird Eyebrows
Finished reading: Quinngali, Scissors MacGillicutty section
Have recently recovered from the creeping crud, so I feel better enough to go out to "Five Guys", which is a local hamburger joint that serves a great burger. One could call it a "mini-franchise", a franchise operation that operates only in a few cities. The menu is limited, but only fresh meat is used and the french fry potato sides are cut fresh daily, and a serving is plentiful enough to serve as its own meal. While waiting for one's food, one can nibble on roasted peanuts, making sure to put the shells in the metal buckets thoughtfully provided at each table. All in all, a very enjoyable -- and filling -- experience.
(* * *)
I must say that reading "Apocalyptic Daria" has spoiled me a bit for "Quinngali" and I have to shift my gears.
Why? All of the parts of "Apocalyptic Daria" can be seen as self contained units, but a fic like "Quinngali" requires some universe-building. A chapter of "Quinngali" is just as likely to end with questions posed to the reader as questions answered. Entire chapters might simply exists to provide groundwork for future parts of "Quinngali", so one must take one's time reading.
I think that the chapter that follows the Nemo Blank segment (Chapter 2?) is such a segment. (I have no idea how these "chapters" number.)
In the Nemo Blank segment, Quinn gave Daria a hypnotic suggestion to change her wardrobe (slightly), wear contacts (for a while) and smile (but only once) to Trent so that Daria could be marginally happier. However, Quinn finds out that Daria hasn't immediately taken to the suggestion.
After Daria inquires regarding Quinn's silence at her transformation, Daria explains that she will wear her contact lenses while helping Mystik Spiral drive to a far-off gig. It appears that Daria requires some sort of self-constructed mental justification to take place before the commands settle. Quinn isn't disturbed until Daria accuses Quinn of hiding her contact lenses.
Before Quinn can snap her fingers and send Daria into a hypnotic sleep, Jane shows up in her running gear, rather unexpectedly. The conversation between Jane and Quinn is seemingly jocular but Jane's body language betrays a hint of menace. After Jane departs, Quinn prepares to tug at her tee-shirt -- a gesture that Daria must pay attention to to set up a trance state -- but Daria happens not to be watching Quinn and simply leaves. Quinn will have to hypnotise Daria later.
Meanwhile, Jane takes an early morning trip to the Lawndale Public Library, not only checking out the common books on hypnosis, but also a set of declassified Cold War monographs with thick-sounding names. Jane gets back to school with the books, with no one the wiser. Jane has made her first decision...to see if these techniques could work on Quinn.....
(* * *)
This section of "Quinngali" isn't as exciting as the first one. There is no revelation of what Quinn has done or of what she plans to do, save to let Daria out of the harness just a bit more. As to what Jane might be able to do, that's left in the air as well. One will have to make an investment in the reading before one get's one's payoff.
However, the details at the end are rather intriguing. One has to look at the minor details. "Conditioned Reflex Therapy" by Salter is a real book. Krasnogorski is a disciple of Pavlov, the "original hypnotist". As for Mr. Serov and Mr. Lo, well, the payoff -- and the building of suspense -- will come in the following chapters.
Have recently recovered from the creeping crud, so I feel better enough to go out to "Five Guys", which is a local hamburger joint that serves a great burger. One could call it a "mini-franchise", a franchise operation that operates only in a few cities. The menu is limited, but only fresh meat is used and the french fry potato sides are cut fresh daily, and a serving is plentiful enough to serve as its own meal. While waiting for one's food, one can nibble on roasted peanuts, making sure to put the shells in the metal buckets thoughtfully provided at each table. All in all, a very enjoyable -- and filling -- experience.
(* * *)
I must say that reading "Apocalyptic Daria" has spoiled me a bit for "Quinngali" and I have to shift my gears.
Why? All of the parts of "Apocalyptic Daria" can be seen as self contained units, but a fic like "Quinngali" requires some universe-building. A chapter of "Quinngali" is just as likely to end with questions posed to the reader as questions answered. Entire chapters might simply exists to provide groundwork for future parts of "Quinngali", so one must take one's time reading.
I think that the chapter that follows the Nemo Blank segment (Chapter 2?) is such a segment. (I have no idea how these "chapters" number.)
In the Nemo Blank segment, Quinn gave Daria a hypnotic suggestion to change her wardrobe (slightly), wear contacts (for a while) and smile (but only once) to Trent so that Daria could be marginally happier. However, Quinn finds out that Daria hasn't immediately taken to the suggestion.
After Daria inquires regarding Quinn's silence at her transformation, Daria explains that she will wear her contact lenses while helping Mystik Spiral drive to a far-off gig. It appears that Daria requires some sort of self-constructed mental justification to take place before the commands settle. Quinn isn't disturbed until Daria accuses Quinn of hiding her contact lenses.
Before Quinn can snap her fingers and send Daria into a hypnotic sleep, Jane shows up in her running gear, rather unexpectedly. The conversation between Jane and Quinn is seemingly jocular but Jane's body language betrays a hint of menace. After Jane departs, Quinn prepares to tug at her tee-shirt -- a gesture that Daria must pay attention to to set up a trance state -- but Daria happens not to be watching Quinn and simply leaves. Quinn will have to hypnotise Daria later.
Meanwhile, Jane takes an early morning trip to the Lawndale Public Library, not only checking out the common books on hypnosis, but also a set of declassified Cold War monographs with thick-sounding names. Jane gets back to school with the books, with no one the wiser. Jane has made her first decision...to see if these techniques could work on Quinn.....
(* * *)
This section of "Quinngali" isn't as exciting as the first one. There is no revelation of what Quinn has done or of what she plans to do, save to let Daria out of the harness just a bit more. As to what Jane might be able to do, that's left in the air as well. One will have to make an investment in the reading before one get's one's payoff.
However, the details at the end are rather intriguing. One has to look at the minor details. "Conditioned Reflex Therapy" by Salter is a real book. Krasnogorski is a disciple of Pavlov, the "original hypnotist". As for Mr. Serov and Mr. Lo, well, the payoff -- and the building of suspense -- will come in the following chapters.
Friday, January 11, 2008
The Butterfly Effect
Finished reading: Quinngali/Nemo Blank section
Well, about 12 pm yesterday my immune system caved in and most of what I ate settled to my stomach like an anchor. So I'm taking a sick day today, which is rather rare for me. Oddly enough, being at work didn't seem to interfere much with my internet access, so there.
(* * *)
Nemo Blank is one of the trippiest writers of Daria fan fiction, and most of his work deals with the themes of transformations and identity, themes close to my heart. His biggest problem as a fan fiction writer is that he doesn't end any of his stories. Therefore, an "Iron Chef" was the perfect medium for him, where he probably wouldn't feel compelled to write a whole story.
The story starts with the three Js jumping through hoops trying to please Quinn. Quinn, of course, suggests that they can jump a little harder and departs. Daria remarks that she wishes she knew Quinn's secret to controlling guys.
We're about to find out that secret. Quinn pulls at the hem of her t-shirt and shrugs, which sends Daria into a hypnotic trance. It turns out that Quinn has been reading a book on hypnosis, finding it at age six and gradually mastering its contents. She takes control of both Jake and Daria, as Helen appears to be immune to the control.
Since she obtained the power, she has been using it in malicious ways. Daria has been forced into a "man-stopper" wardrobe. All of the members of the Fashion Club are under Quinn's mental control. (Sandi has a particularly nasty fate waiting for her the next time she puts down Quinn.)
However, Quinn feels slightly guilty and wants Daria to have a small amount of happiness. Therefore, she has arranged the Daria-Jane-Tom triangle. Quinn questions Daria while Daria is in the trance state regarding the progress of her relationship with Tom.
Surprisingly, Daria doesn't like Tom. Daria was attracted to Trent, but now Daria can't have that. Jane's friendship with Daria has been damaged. Despite Quinn's mental rearrangement, Daria blames Tom for all of this and doesn't love him.
Quinn decides to give Daria some new commands. She can change her wardrobe and wear contacts. She can even smile at Trent. Once. Any more smiling, and Daria will be forced to think of death.
Unfortunately for Quinn, she does not know someone is hidden in the house....
(* * *)
Jonathan D. Parshall -- who dredged up this work from Nemo Blank out of an old "Scenes No Daria Fic Should Have" -- wrote, "Come on, how great a starting point is that?"
Oh yes, definitely a great starting point. This isn't "It's a Good Life" out of the Twilight Zone. Quinn's power over Daria isn't absolute, and there are people who appear resistent to Quinn's powers. This gives even a beginning author a lot of flexibility. A writer could take this story in any direction...and it looks like Scissors MacGillicutty will do just that.
For a "scorched remnant", this was a great mini-work from Nemo Blank, and my hope is that "Quinngali" gets better and better.
(I have some issues with the premise. Namely, that children are extremely nasty and cruel, so it's untelling what Quinn has had Daria do in the past. Furthermore, the fact that Quinn has had two little fartknockers in Highland killed is a bit troubling. But I didn't want to detract either from the great premise, or put pressure on the person who plans to see it through to the end.)
Well, about 12 pm yesterday my immune system caved in and most of what I ate settled to my stomach like an anchor. So I'm taking a sick day today, which is rather rare for me. Oddly enough, being at work didn't seem to interfere much with my internet access, so there.
(* * *)
Nemo Blank is one of the trippiest writers of Daria fan fiction, and most of his work deals with the themes of transformations and identity, themes close to my heart. His biggest problem as a fan fiction writer is that he doesn't end any of his stories. Therefore, an "Iron Chef" was the perfect medium for him, where he probably wouldn't feel compelled to write a whole story.
The story starts with the three Js jumping through hoops trying to please Quinn. Quinn, of course, suggests that they can jump a little harder and departs. Daria remarks that she wishes she knew Quinn's secret to controlling guys.
We're about to find out that secret. Quinn pulls at the hem of her t-shirt and shrugs, which sends Daria into a hypnotic trance. It turns out that Quinn has been reading a book on hypnosis, finding it at age six and gradually mastering its contents. She takes control of both Jake and Daria, as Helen appears to be immune to the control.
Since she obtained the power, she has been using it in malicious ways. Daria has been forced into a "man-stopper" wardrobe. All of the members of the Fashion Club are under Quinn's mental control. (Sandi has a particularly nasty fate waiting for her the next time she puts down Quinn.)
However, Quinn feels slightly guilty and wants Daria to have a small amount of happiness. Therefore, she has arranged the Daria-Jane-Tom triangle. Quinn questions Daria while Daria is in the trance state regarding the progress of her relationship with Tom.
Surprisingly, Daria doesn't like Tom. Daria was attracted to Trent, but now Daria can't have that. Jane's friendship with Daria has been damaged. Despite Quinn's mental rearrangement, Daria blames Tom for all of this and doesn't love him.
Quinn decides to give Daria some new commands. She can change her wardrobe and wear contacts. She can even smile at Trent. Once. Any more smiling, and Daria will be forced to think of death.
Unfortunately for Quinn, she does not know someone is hidden in the house....
(* * *)
Jonathan D. Parshall -- who dredged up this work from Nemo Blank out of an old "Scenes No Daria Fic Should Have" -- wrote, "Come on, how great a starting point is that?"
Oh yes, definitely a great starting point. This isn't "It's a Good Life" out of the Twilight Zone. Quinn's power over Daria isn't absolute, and there are people who appear resistent to Quinn's powers. This gives even a beginning author a lot of flexibility. A writer could take this story in any direction...and it looks like Scissors MacGillicutty will do just that.
For a "scorched remnant", this was a great mini-work from Nemo Blank, and my hope is that "Quinngali" gets better and better.
(I have some issues with the premise. Namely, that children are extremely nasty and cruel, so it's untelling what Quinn has had Daria do in the past. Furthermore, the fact that Quinn has had two little fartknockers in Highland killed is a bit troubling. But I didn't want to detract either from the great premise, or put pressure on the person who plans to see it through to the end.)
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Yenta
Finished reading: AD15
Still hard at work, looking over a spreadsheet with 10,000 lines it in that I have to fill with data. Most of this data is redundant, so that saves some of the work, but that makes it no less monotonous.
Which actually means work is a good time for blogging -- I can at least gain respite from this part of the drudgework through some creative activity. Now, I just need to stop feeling so creaky....
(* * *)
Daria and Jane plan to leave their pleasant encampment and head back on the road -- stocking up on supplies. Daria asks the important question of what if they are stopped as looters. Jane answers that as long as they don't have a ridiculous or suspicious amount of supplies -- say, six television sets -- everything should be okay.
Upon leaving the garage, the two find fresh animal stool. They quickly learn what kind of stool it is...dog stool, as Daria is set upon by a pack of wild dogs. Daria manages to shoot one of them; Jane the rest.
However, Daria doesn't emerge unscathed. There is a scratch on her back about three inches long. It doesn't need sutures, but Daria needs to be cleaned up at the minimum. Jane washes Daria's back and puts alcohol over the open area. We leave with Jane planning to get Daria some replacement clothes.
(* * *)
Statistics:
Uncomfortable lesbian references by Jane: 1
Gratuituous skin: a lot
Oddly enough, Jane has reverted into one of her older incarnations -- "Yenta Jane". Yenta Jane was a creature found in early fan fiction who was committed to and obsessed with Daria hooking up with Trent. Instead of Jane implying that she and Daria should be rolling in the sack, she has now taken up the cudgel of making Daria/Trent jokes. After all the Jane/lesbian commentary, it's a welcome change...although, unfortunately, no less annoying.
As for the dog attack, two comments:
1) Yes, it will happen when the apocalypse comes -- bands of feral dogs, from that group of people who failed to control the pet population and have their dogs spayed or neutered. With dogs either abandoned or their owners dead, dogs will team up as dogs do and get into a lot of trouble. Dogs, like many pack animals, prefer to attack targets larger than they are. It means that the fallen target provides enough beef to feed the pack. (Whereas a mouse will only feed one housecat.)
However, the life of a dog in the wild is nasty, brutish, and short. Dogs survive from a lot of loving care from humans; without humans in the population the life of a feral dogs is about one to two years. Dogs will plague stragglers for about one to two years and then their numbers will dwindle to that of existing feral dogs, a rare sight these days.
2) How come the dogs only attacked Daria? Heh. Maybe no one likes Daria, not even dogs. If the dogs had attacked both Daria and Jane, this would have been the final chapter of "Apocalyptic Daria". The only assumption we can make is that Jane is some distance away from Daria; the story does not make this clear.
Other than that, it's a "Daria gets attacked by dogs" tale. Not much going on here as the author prepares for AD16.
(* * *)
Tomorrow: We take a week-long break from "Apocalyptic Daria" and read another on-going fan fiction tale instead...the amazing tale of Quinngali! See you there!
Message from Another Time
(Note: review of AD15 coming hopefully today. Till then, I'm just pulling out some old material on the hard drive, dusting it off, and turning it into a blog post. This post is a massive diversion and has virtually nothing to do with Daria or Daria fandom, so you can skip it. -- JB)
If you're familiar with my long, ugly history in Daria fandom, you'll know that I happen to use the term "BNF". This isn't a term I invented. Neither are Greybird's plural for fan ("fen") or use of the term "neofen."
All of these terms come from science fiction fandom, a fandom that has existed since the 1930s. However did they do without the internet, you might ask? Well, instead of message boards, they had the letter columns in magazines. Instead of websites, they had fanzines.
Instead of e-mail, they had real-mail. Instead of instant messaging, they had Western Union and telephones.
Furthermore, these ancient fans, with little more than pencils, papers, and the occasional mimeographed fanzines, managed to have all the same dumbass disputes internet fans have had without the help of internet pseudonymity. All of the heights we think we've scaled on the internet were scaled by people about sixty years ago.
For example, I borrowed my first pseudonym -- Petrel -- from Francis Towner Laney, whose incendiary memorior Ah, Sweet Idiocy! is virtually a bible for modern Insurgents, and who was called "The Stormy Petrel". (Even then, the seeds of CINCGREEN were planted in Petrel.) You can't read Ah, Sweet Idiocy! anywhere on the net -- it's hard to find in science fiction fandom, if I understand -- but I have read excerpts on the next. Laney was an acid critic of the failings of science fiction fans, and Ah, Sweet Idiocy! was his way of burning his bridges. (To get a sense of his style, read "Syllabus for a Fanzine", where he goes after crappy webzines.
Laney escaped being persona non grata by suddenly dying. To this day, there are those who think that Laney's death was a fake and he did the ultimate "get away from it all". (Back in the day, without the internets, faking your death was quite easy. You just had a friend send mail to all your friends and enemies saying "I regret to inform you that so-and-so died." How were you going to check? However, I believe some fans of fans have found Laney's actual death certificate, so R. I. P. F. T. L.)
However, my point was to introduce you to "The Enchanted Duplicator", a story written by BNFs Walt Willis and Bob Shaw. It was written in 1954 and was basically addressed to science fiction fans of the time, but I believe that it has something to say to fans in any type of fandom at any time. From the webpage introduction:
The Enchanted Duplicator is more than a simple fairy tale about one fan's slow progress into the heartland of 'Fandom'. It contains practical advice on the pitfalls awaiting the new fan, puns wherever they could be fitted in, and it is a somewhat distorting window into a past era of fandom. But as well as all this, it is an allegory and a fable. A moral is not stated: it is implicit in every page. Simply: anyone may become a 'True Fan', but only by their own efforts. However, a sense of humour and a willingness to get along with other fans is essential.
(To that, I say there are very few 'True Fans' in Daria fandom. The Angst Guy is one of the few I know.)
The tale is allegorical. I'll close with my self-composed glossary from "The Enchanted Duplicator", now sitting on my hard drive for some time. I'll let it see the light of day and I hope that it whets your desire to read "The Enchanted Duplicator". (Iron Chef: Write a version of "The Enchanted Duplicator" for Daria fandom.)
(* * *)
GLOSSARY OF TERMS FROM WILLIS AND SHAW
Mundane -- the country where all non-fans live
Prosaic -- a village in the country of Mundane
Jophan -- a young man who lives in the city of Prosaic
Spirit of Fandom -- a magical fairy who comes to Jophan and lets him know that there is a world outside of Mundane. She carries two wands, one called Contact and the other called Fanac ("fan activity"). The wands show him visions of this wonderful world, and Jophan wants to take part.
Mountains of Inertia -- mountain range which surrounds Mundane. The mountains are supposedly unclimbable; to reach Fandom these mountains must be crossed.
True Fan -- an inhabitant of the land of Fandom and what Jophan wishes to become.
The Enchanted Duplicator -- what Jophan wishes to seek in Fandom, so that he may publish the Perfect Fanzine. (During the days of science fiction fandom, fans would write fanzines which would be sent through the mails to other interested fans.) Also known as the Magic Mimeograph.
The High Tower of Trufandom -- where the Enchanted Duplicator rests
Umor -- a shield the Spirit of Fandom gives Jophan. If he keeps it polished, it will protect him on his journey. (Umor as in "humor", i. e. a sense of humor.)
Fortress of Stupidity -- a forest that grows all around Mundane, sheltering it from the winds blowing out of Fandom
Swift, Offset and Litho -- brothers that try to distract Jophan on his journey. (Their names refer to a process called offset lithography, more suitable for large scale commercial printing.) They end up draining prospective fans of money and those fans never reach Fandom.
the Great BNF -- the major deity of fandom. (BNF = "big name fan")
Letterpress Railroad -- a railroad which promises a direct route to Fandom, only for its trains to continually break down. (Letterpress is the complicated method of printing with movable type.)
Circle of Lassitude -- A place where people who found getting to Fandom too tiresome a process and have created their own society. Many of them have never reached Fandom. When the occasionally fanzine blows by, they pay no attention to it, preferring to chat and drink instead. (Inspired by the London SF Circle of the 1950s.)
Robert George Leth (Leth, R. G, or "lethargy") -- a member of the Circle
Region of Fog -- an area within the Forest of Stupidity
the Disillusion -- a spirit that tries to convince Jophan not to proceed. Disillusion once rode into Fandom on his high horse, but no one paid attention to him. He tried to teach the citizens of Fandom, but they had nothing to learn from him and he remains indignant to this day.
Plodder and Erratic -- two neofen ("new fans") that accompany Jophan on his journey. Plodder has no Shield of (H)Umor -- but is incredibly thick-skinned. Erratic prefers to rest of long periods of time, and then make up the ground in spurts.
Hekto Swamp -- an area just inside the borders of Fandom. Many neofans perish here, to sink forever within its purple depths. (A "hekto" is a carbon used in mimeographing, and can stain one's hands purple if one is not careful.)
Abydix, Roneoaks and Ellam trees -- trees that grow throughout fandom, known for their powerful root system. (Ellam is a reference to a mimeographic inker; I don't know to what the other two refer.)
Jungle of Inexperience -- a jungle within Fandom that can bring any neofan to a standstill
Torrent of Overinking - a floodstream that occasionally carries neofans away in its wake
slip sheet -- a sheet which can be used to rescue someone from the Torrent of Overinking (They appear to refer to divider pages.)
Typos -- beasts living in the Jungle of Inexperience which attack neofans
Correcting Fluid -- a magical fluid that kills any wound made by a typo
Kerles -- a fan who has the power to make Typos do his bidding -- but not often, and not well. (Named after Max Kerles, a 1950s science fiction fan whose work was typo-ridden.)
Perfexion -- a paranoid fan who attempts to hack his way through the Jungle of Inexperience and is horribly frightened of Typos. He is making very slow progress.
Kolektinbug -- a small bug sold by the Hucksters who on the road to the High Tower of Trufandom. The bug is actually a leach that will suck the life right out of a neofan. (After "collecting bug", obviously.)
"City of Trufandom" -- a place Jophan visits on his journey. It is actually a club that spends most of its time arguing with each other, giving contradictory orders, and awaiting the election of officers so one member can boss around the others. Jophan tries to convince a citizen to join him on the way, but the young man is too afraid to progress without the help of the others and Jophan leaves.
Dedwood -- the builder of the "City of Trufandom". Unfortunately, most of its buildings are ramshackle facades.
"City of Serious Constructivism" -- a city Dedwood works on building. He hopes the public will be impressed.
Mr. Press -- a representative of the Public that occasionally visits Fandom. Jophan watches Dedwood be interviewed by Mr. Press. Despite Dedwood's grandiose comments, Mr. Press pays no attention to Dedwood, failing to write anything in his press notebook except "gosh-wow-oh-boy-oh-boy" and drawing a picture of Dedwood wearing a helicopter beanie.
Profan -- a resident of a colony between Trufandom and Mundane. He only visits Trufandom occasionally, but is willing to help neofans as long as he isn't overwhelmed by them. He tells Jophan of the perils that will face him. (A "pro fan" is a published science fiction writer who used to be a fan, thus living in both worlds.)
Glades of Gafia -- a distraction that Profan warns Jophan about. The glades seem refreshing, but they are so comfortable that most fans never leave them. (After "GAFIA", or "get away from it all". Fans that have taken a long break from fandom and never come back are said to have "gafiated".)
Subr -- a seemingly indifferent group of people who refuse to aid Jophan or even talk to him until he convinces them that he has the stamina to procced and that he will accept their help. (Probably after 'submitter' or 'subscriber', both important to fanzine life.) They then begin to accompany him on his journey, giving limited aid.
Sycofan -- a fan who refuses to proceed until he invokes the power of the "BNFicient spirits". (After "sycophant", a fan who will only associate with "high ranking" fans.) He refuses to associate with Jophan, surviving on the occasional "manna-scripts" sent to him by the BNFicient.
Egg o' Bu -- the egg of a "bu-bird". The yoks and whites of the eggs give Jophan a lot of strength. They do have side effects though -- intoxication and a swelling of the head. (After "ego-boo", or ego boost, basically a kind word from another fan.)
Canyon of Critcism -- the deadliest passage on the way to Trufandom. Many neofans have been known to perish here, their journeys coming to a tragic end.
Magrevoos, Fanmagrevoos, Promagrevoos -- Beings living in the Canyon of Criticism which have been known to hurl large rocks down upon neofans. If a neofan has not kept his Shield of Umor intact, he might perish. These creatures are plodded into activity by Headhunters. (I am unable to make out the reference.)
Fillips -- a near extinct tribe which helps neofans attacked by the Magrevoos. These fans are replenished by the Fillips's supply of Egg o' Bu. (This might come from the word "fillip", meaning "something trivial" -- possibly an exhortation that criticism is trivial in the long run.)
Letteraxe -- a fan which offers to help Jophan by sending messages to the Headhunters that control the Magrevoos. Jophan notes that it would be just as easy to travel, but Letteraxe prefers to stay where he is and send messages. (A reference to "letter hacks".)
The Magic Mimeograph -- turns out to be a rusty hulk of a machine, an eyesore. However, when Jophan takes the handle, he is invested with strength. As the Spirit of Fandom tells him, the final lesson is that "FOR THE MAGIC MIMEOGRAPH IS THE ONE WITH THE TRUE FAN AT THE HANDLE."
If you're familiar with my long, ugly history in Daria fandom, you'll know that I happen to use the term "BNF". This isn't a term I invented. Neither are Greybird's plural for fan ("fen") or use of the term "neofen."
All of these terms come from science fiction fandom, a fandom that has existed since the 1930s. However did they do without the internet, you might ask? Well, instead of message boards, they had the letter columns in magazines. Instead of websites, they had fanzines.
Instead of e-mail, they had real-mail. Instead of instant messaging, they had Western Union and telephones.
Furthermore, these ancient fans, with little more than pencils, papers, and the occasional mimeographed fanzines, managed to have all the same dumbass disputes internet fans have had without the help of internet pseudonymity. All of the heights we think we've scaled on the internet were scaled by people about sixty years ago.
For example, I borrowed my first pseudonym -- Petrel -- from Francis Towner Laney, whose incendiary memorior Ah, Sweet Idiocy! is virtually a bible for modern Insurgents, and who was called "The Stormy Petrel". (Even then, the seeds of CINCGREEN were planted in Petrel.) You can't read Ah, Sweet Idiocy! anywhere on the net -- it's hard to find in science fiction fandom, if I understand -- but I have read excerpts on the next. Laney was an acid critic of the failings of science fiction fans, and Ah, Sweet Idiocy! was his way of burning his bridges. (To get a sense of his style, read "Syllabus for a Fanzine", where he goes after crappy webzines.
Laney escaped being persona non grata by suddenly dying. To this day, there are those who think that Laney's death was a fake and he did the ultimate "get away from it all". (Back in the day, without the internets, faking your death was quite easy. You just had a friend send mail to all your friends and enemies saying "I regret to inform you that so-and-so died." How were you going to check? However, I believe some fans of fans have found Laney's actual death certificate, so R. I. P. F. T. L.)
However, my point was to introduce you to "The Enchanted Duplicator", a story written by BNFs Walt Willis and Bob Shaw. It was written in 1954 and was basically addressed to science fiction fans of the time, but I believe that it has something to say to fans in any type of fandom at any time. From the webpage introduction:
The Enchanted Duplicator is more than a simple fairy tale about one fan's slow progress into the heartland of 'Fandom'. It contains practical advice on the pitfalls awaiting the new fan, puns wherever they could be fitted in, and it is a somewhat distorting window into a past era of fandom. But as well as all this, it is an allegory and a fable. A moral is not stated: it is implicit in every page. Simply: anyone may become a 'True Fan', but only by their own efforts. However, a sense of humour and a willingness to get along with other fans is essential.
(To that, I say there are very few 'True Fans' in Daria fandom. The Angst Guy is one of the few I know.)
The tale is allegorical. I'll close with my self-composed glossary from "The Enchanted Duplicator", now sitting on my hard drive for some time. I'll let it see the light of day and I hope that it whets your desire to read "The Enchanted Duplicator". (Iron Chef: Write a version of "The Enchanted Duplicator" for Daria fandom.)
(* * *)
GLOSSARY OF TERMS FROM WILLIS AND SHAW
Mundane -- the country where all non-fans live
Prosaic -- a village in the country of Mundane
Jophan -- a young man who lives in the city of Prosaic
Spirit of Fandom -- a magical fairy who comes to Jophan and lets him know that there is a world outside of Mundane. She carries two wands, one called Contact and the other called Fanac ("fan activity"). The wands show him visions of this wonderful world, and Jophan wants to take part.
Mountains of Inertia -- mountain range which surrounds Mundane. The mountains are supposedly unclimbable; to reach Fandom these mountains must be crossed.
True Fan -- an inhabitant of the land of Fandom and what Jophan wishes to become.
The Enchanted Duplicator -- what Jophan wishes to seek in Fandom, so that he may publish the Perfect Fanzine. (During the days of science fiction fandom, fans would write fanzines which would be sent through the mails to other interested fans.) Also known as the Magic Mimeograph.
The High Tower of Trufandom -- where the Enchanted Duplicator rests
Umor -- a shield the Spirit of Fandom gives Jophan. If he keeps it polished, it will protect him on his journey. (Umor as in "humor", i. e. a sense of humor.)
Fortress of Stupidity -- a forest that grows all around Mundane, sheltering it from the winds blowing out of Fandom
Swift, Offset and Litho -- brothers that try to distract Jophan on his journey. (Their names refer to a process called offset lithography, more suitable for large scale commercial printing.) They end up draining prospective fans of money and those fans never reach Fandom.
the Great BNF -- the major deity of fandom. (BNF = "big name fan")
Letterpress Railroad -- a railroad which promises a direct route to Fandom, only for its trains to continually break down. (Letterpress is the complicated method of printing with movable type.)
Circle of Lassitude -- A place where people who found getting to Fandom too tiresome a process and have created their own society. Many of them have never reached Fandom. When the occasionally fanzine blows by, they pay no attention to it, preferring to chat and drink instead. (Inspired by the London SF Circle of the 1950s.)
Robert George Leth (Leth, R. G, or "lethargy") -- a member of the Circle
Region of Fog -- an area within the Forest of Stupidity
the Disillusion -- a spirit that tries to convince Jophan not to proceed. Disillusion once rode into Fandom on his high horse, but no one paid attention to him. He tried to teach the citizens of Fandom, but they had nothing to learn from him and he remains indignant to this day.
Plodder and Erratic -- two neofen ("new fans") that accompany Jophan on his journey. Plodder has no Shield of (H)Umor -- but is incredibly thick-skinned. Erratic prefers to rest of long periods of time, and then make up the ground in spurts.
Hekto Swamp -- an area just inside the borders of Fandom. Many neofans perish here, to sink forever within its purple depths. (A "hekto" is a carbon used in mimeographing, and can stain one's hands purple if one is not careful.)
Abydix, Roneoaks and Ellam trees -- trees that grow throughout fandom, known for their powerful root system. (Ellam is a reference to a mimeographic inker; I don't know to what the other two refer.)
Jungle of Inexperience -- a jungle within Fandom that can bring any neofan to a standstill
Torrent of Overinking - a floodstream that occasionally carries neofans away in its wake
slip sheet -- a sheet which can be used to rescue someone from the Torrent of Overinking (They appear to refer to divider pages.)
Typos -- beasts living in the Jungle of Inexperience which attack neofans
Correcting Fluid -- a magical fluid that kills any wound made by a typo
Kerles -- a fan who has the power to make Typos do his bidding -- but not often, and not well. (Named after Max Kerles, a 1950s science fiction fan whose work was typo-ridden.)
Perfexion -- a paranoid fan who attempts to hack his way through the Jungle of Inexperience and is horribly frightened of Typos. He is making very slow progress.
Kolektinbug -- a small bug sold by the Hucksters who on the road to the High Tower of Trufandom. The bug is actually a leach that will suck the life right out of a neofan. (After "collecting bug", obviously.)
"City of Trufandom" -- a place Jophan visits on his journey. It is actually a club that spends most of its time arguing with each other, giving contradictory orders, and awaiting the election of officers so one member can boss around the others. Jophan tries to convince a citizen to join him on the way, but the young man is too afraid to progress without the help of the others and Jophan leaves.
Dedwood -- the builder of the "City of Trufandom". Unfortunately, most of its buildings are ramshackle facades.
"City of Serious Constructivism" -- a city Dedwood works on building. He hopes the public will be impressed.
Mr. Press -- a representative of the Public that occasionally visits Fandom. Jophan watches Dedwood be interviewed by Mr. Press. Despite Dedwood's grandiose comments, Mr. Press pays no attention to Dedwood, failing to write anything in his press notebook except "gosh-wow-oh-boy-oh-boy" and drawing a picture of Dedwood wearing a helicopter beanie.
Profan -- a resident of a colony between Trufandom and Mundane. He only visits Trufandom occasionally, but is willing to help neofans as long as he isn't overwhelmed by them. He tells Jophan of the perils that will face him. (A "pro fan" is a published science fiction writer who used to be a fan, thus living in both worlds.)
Glades of Gafia -- a distraction that Profan warns Jophan about. The glades seem refreshing, but they are so comfortable that most fans never leave them. (After "GAFIA", or "get away from it all". Fans that have taken a long break from fandom and never come back are said to have "gafiated".)
Subr -- a seemingly indifferent group of people who refuse to aid Jophan or even talk to him until he convinces them that he has the stamina to procced and that he will accept their help. (Probably after 'submitter' or 'subscriber', both important to fanzine life.) They then begin to accompany him on his journey, giving limited aid.
Sycofan -- a fan who refuses to proceed until he invokes the power of the "BNFicient spirits". (After "sycophant", a fan who will only associate with "high ranking" fans.) He refuses to associate with Jophan, surviving on the occasional "manna-scripts" sent to him by the BNFicient.
Egg o' Bu -- the egg of a "bu-bird". The yoks and whites of the eggs give Jophan a lot of strength. They do have side effects though -- intoxication and a swelling of the head. (After "ego-boo", or ego boost, basically a kind word from another fan.)
Canyon of Critcism -- the deadliest passage on the way to Trufandom. Many neofans have been known to perish here, their journeys coming to a tragic end.
Magrevoos, Fanmagrevoos, Promagrevoos -- Beings living in the Canyon of Criticism which have been known to hurl large rocks down upon neofans. If a neofan has not kept his Shield of Umor intact, he might perish. These creatures are plodded into activity by Headhunters. (I am unable to make out the reference.)
Fillips -- a near extinct tribe which helps neofans attacked by the Magrevoos. These fans are replenished by the Fillips's supply of Egg o' Bu. (This might come from the word "fillip", meaning "something trivial" -- possibly an exhortation that criticism is trivial in the long run.)
Letteraxe -- a fan which offers to help Jophan by sending messages to the Headhunters that control the Magrevoos. Jophan notes that it would be just as easy to travel, but Letteraxe prefers to stay where he is and send messages. (A reference to "letter hacks".)
The Magic Mimeograph -- turns out to be a rusty hulk of a machine, an eyesore. However, when Jophan takes the handle, he is invested with strength. As the Spirit of Fandom tells him, the final lesson is that "FOR THE MAGIC MIMEOGRAPH IS THE ONE WITH THE TRUE FAN AT THE HANDLE."
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
In Dreams
Finished reading: AD14
Work remains busy. There's really not much more to say about that. However, I'm beginning a new baseball story on another messageboard, a story which is taking up much of my present-moment thinking and has required a bit of research into baseball, 1983 style. I'll read the next two segments of "Apocalyptic Daria", and then I'll take a break for about a week for something new before I return to this tale.
(* * *)
Now, back to Daria and Jane on the lam.
The story starts with Daria and Jane trying to get some sleep, sharing a bed. (More on this later.) Jane wakes up and has some pizza, while Daria is dreaming that she is walking through a school gym converted to a hospital.
In Daria's dream, she sees people she knows either dead or suffering from radiation sickness. One moment her parents are in their normal work clothes, then she turns back towards them and they are either suffering from radiation sickness or are dead. Finally, Daria discovers Jane -- and herself -- as dead bodies punctured with bullet holes.
Daria screams and wakes up. Jane comes to confort her. They both share the fact that they miss their loved ones, and they thank each other for keeping each other alive.
(* * *)
Despite the compliments, I really didn't think AD14 was that great for a number of reasons:
First, a very minor complaint. Jane's banter with Daria -- these lesbian jokes -- were first amusing -- then intriguing -- and then started to get annoying with AD14. If I were Daria, I would really be starting to wonder about Jane's sexuality. "Jane, you're starting to creep me out here. You really need to find another theme, or seriously...you need to come out of the closet, because I can't tell if you're joking anymore, because you talk about this ALL the time."
The second complaint is the major one. It's hard to put one's foot down and say "this is the major problem", but I've seen it elsewhere and in AD14, we see it yet again. We see it in the dream sequence, and in Daria's reactions to it.
There's the old maxim of showing, not telling that most writers know. One doesn't simply tell the reader "Daria felt this way and Jane felt this way and Quinn felt this different way", but instead gives examples of how Daria and Jane and Quinn are reacting.
However, one can take this rule to the opposite extreme, the extreme where the author shows absolutely everything. In the omnipotent third person, this can be a bit dangerous. We not only get a physical accounting of events (this person went here, this person went there, that person did this, etc.) but also an emotional recounting of events (this person cried, this person raised their voices, this person was sullen). It reads as if a checklist is being checked off.
Sometimes, you have to decide to not show. Or better, to hint. The problem with showing and telling everything is that there's nothing left for the reader to do. Back before the year 2000, when Daria fandom fought on the ancient battleground of "is prose form or script form better?" one of the complaints about prose form was that it told everything. With the scripted form -- and no access into the characters' thoughts -- writers had to be much more subtle about conveying emotion.
The characters don't seem to have any subtlety or secrets. Rather, they just pour their emotions out. Seeing Daria, the calm one, act this way is particulary disturbing and probably not in the way the author intended. I suspect that if Daria ever truly got emotional, it would be a loud screaming jag the equivalent of a nervous breakdown, the result of emotions held back for so long finally leaking out. So much more could have been done with Daria not screaming, just waking up and saying, "can't sleep", the haunted look in her expression telling Jane everything she needed to know.
It was also a bad choice to put the dream in italics. This was a message to the reader: "what is happening is outside the scripted reality and is therefore not to be taken seriously". It might have been a homage to the M*A*S*H episode "Dreams". When I saw "Dreams" in its original airing, I didn't care much for it. The only parts of "Dreams" that worked were the parts that were truly surreal and there is nothing surreal in this dream; it's your standard near-linear post-apocalytic dream (if such dreams could be considered "standard").
The best prose writers have problems with such passages. It's a difficult thing to execute, and I was just waiting until Daria woke up because I knew nothing I was reading was "real". Yes, it's a lot to demand of fan fiction but it could have been handled better.
I'm probably the only person that didn't have praise for AD14, upon looking at the comments threads. It makes me wonder how useful message boards are and brings me back to the idea of fan fiction criticism. Fan fiction should probably not receive the same scathing treatment that a regular fiction writer might receive -- most of these writers write for pleasure or to improve their craft -- but where does one find a happy medium? Before you begin to suggest improvement, you have to point out where a work fails, and the only way that can be made painless is in dreams.
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