Data Dump X

Daria was still in a daze from what had happened only three days ago. Culture shock, she told herself. It was an entirely new way of culture, a new way of living that had sprouted up in Australia.

It explained a lot of things. For one, why there had been no mention of Australia in the news for years and why the major airlines never flew there. This new culture was a threat to the one she had just escaped, even if only on an "Eastasia vs. Eurasia" level.

And now, less than a week after her disastrous meeting with Tom, she was in a classroom again. She wondered if Mr. DeMartino with his bulging eye would have shown up. Hell, she should have just chosen Mr. D. instead of Jane. Daria might never see Jane again; Mr. D. would have at least provided some entertainment.

There were fourteen others with her, all whom had come into their new inheritance. To those fourteen, the lecture was merely a conclusion of the formalities, a reading of the will. They were ready to take it all in.

A young woman dressed much like Michelle and Dot stepped up to the front of the classroom. She began to speak.

"There are four stages to any civilization. The first stage is the hunter-gatherer phase. The second phase is the agrarian phase. Neither of you have been alive for either of these phases...."

That's a simplification. I've read "Guns, Germs and Steel". She makes it sound as if one phase passes out of history to be replaced by the next. It's just that one phase becomes dominant in one area through a set of circumstances. Take that "hunter-gather phase". We're in the Central Australian Desert. If we weren't in this air-conditioned building, we'd still be hunter-gatherers. I wonder how the hunter-gatherers in New Zealand are doing right now....

"...which some of you have just escaped. You have reached the end of the industrial phase. Man was reduced to a cog in the machine and when robots could replace the cog, he was eliminated."

I suspect a lecture on commodity fetishism or reification is coming up next. Boy, how I miss those college bullshit sessions.

"...at the end of the industrial stage, robots controlled humanity...instead of vice-versa. This new stage is called the "open" phase, a fourth generation civilization conceived of by Eric Renson, an American involved in what was called the "open software" movement. He had already concluded that the industrial phase would end the way it did in North America. He tried to fight it, but realized that it was impossible."

Thanks for nothing, Eric Renson. Maybe if you had got the word out better, maybe this could be avoided.

"...Renson realized that he had to turn the industrial stage on its ear. He used the idea of open source and added robotics to it. He spent money on robots and materials and reached a stage where factory robots could be used to create even more robots. However, rather than the top-down design processes where robots are programmed from a central point, robots could be individually programmed. Instead of mankind serving robots, robots would serve mankind. No restrictions would be placed on how robots would be programmed. Because no one owns a source code, the code is free to everyone to modify."

...

"Renson realized that in a robotic civilization, everything could be free."

Daria raised her hand. "That's not possible."

"It is," said the woman, "if you own a large piece of land like Eric Renson. The land contains a large amount of resources. Iron ores. Water rights. They don't have to be paid for by anyone. The first thing Renson turned his task to was farming to create food resources -- ."

"-- that doesn't answer the question. These resources are limited."

"But they are abundant."

"'Abundant' is not the opposite of 'limited'," said Daria. "It's simply a modifying concept. It just means 'less limited'. You're implying that these resources are perpetual. I don't think anything in nature is perpetual."

"Actually Daria," said the speaker, whose name was Caitlin, "this is merely an introductory lecture. It's not meant to be the springboard for a detailed discussion. If there's interest, that might come later."

Daria looked to her sides with her peripheral vision. There didn't seem to be any interest. Sixteen years of schooling had taught Daria how to recognize the signs.

"Renson's core idea was that everything should be free in a robotic world. Every human being should get an equal share of all of these products that the robots were producing."

Renson is sounding like a liberal fascist communist son-of-a-bitch. I like him already.

"Renson took the phrase 'all men are created equal' quite literally."

On second thought...hm.

Another person raised their hand. "Yes, Curtiss?"

"That sounds fine and dandy. But...does Eric Renson own Australia? Or California? I don't think that the people who own the land and the resources that lie beneath it...limited or limitless...are going to give that up without a struggle."

"Yes. If a small group of people, either individually or in the name of a government, own all the resources, then society is screwed. Sooner or later, there will come an inequity of wealth in which one person owns everything and no one else owns anything."

Shades of Marx!

"However, Mr. Renson decided to modify the successful capitalist corporate model, in order to create a new ownership model that would accomplish his goals."

Oh dear.

"Through the use of his software company and his patents on robots, Renson became a billionaire. He then purchased 300,000 square miles of outback territory in Australia, and began producing resources for sale with the robots he had built. He knew that he'd need at least $1 trillion to buy enough resources for one billion people to become self sufficient.

How the hell is he going to get a trillion dollars, unless he's a government? Most of the major industries in the world are banking, insurance, or gas and oil. Even if he ran a Japanese car company, that could only be worth $100 billion.

"...once he had started the major work in Australia, the citizens of Australia decided to merge with the project by plebicite. The entire continent of Australia became part of the Australia project."

Remind me to look that up the first time I get out of here.

(* * *)

The speaker went on about the "total recyclability" of the project, namely, that everything was completely recyclable. She stated that things were "used over and over" and "never diminished", completely ignoring all of Daria's inital objections. Daria began to suspect that the speaker had the speech memorized. She was there to talk; they were there to listen.

There was a principle of non-ownership. No one owned anything. There was also, however, no anonymity either.

"Doesn't anonymity provide freedom?" said Daria, unable to hold herself.

"Yes. But it also brings abuse. What's the difference between setting someone's house on fire and setting one's reputation on fire by websites created through proxies? In neither situation can the person be fully recompensed for their losses. In Australia, there are cameras everywhere. If you walk from your home to the park, cameras follow you all the way. You have access to these cameras, so if someone walks by your house, you know who walked by and when. This system makes it completely impossible to commit an anonymous crime."

"Except when the cameras fail," said Daria.

"They rarely fail," said the speaker, almost through clenched teeth. "We are able to put crime to a stop as soon as it happens. There hasn't been a murder in years."

"Even indoors?"

"I mean an outdoor, public murder."

"What good is that, then? You can stop muggings but you can't stop wife beating?"

"It's better than the old system, Ms. Morgendorffer," said the speaker, dropping the chatty facade. "People still commit crimes occasionally, basically children who haven't been socialized. We discipline them, and that solves the problem."

Another person raised their hand and asked why someone didn't just ask for 10,000 bars of gold bullion if everything is free? The speaker explained that all resources in Australia were equally distributed.

The discussion broke down to a chat about all the nice things you could buy in the "open" phase of civilization. You bought clothes, and when you got tired of them, the clothes were recycled. And then, the recycled clothes were made into new clothes to buy with your credits.

Before the discussion became a commercial, Daria felt emboldened to interrupt. "So what I supposed to do to earn all this?"

"Earn?" asked the speaker.

"I mean in terms of a profession," said Daria.

"There's no forced labor in Australia, Ms. Morgendorffer. Everything here is free. You do anything you want to. You get 1,000 credits a week to spend. You are on a 52-week-a-year vacation."

Someone else had a question. "So why are you here?" she asked the speaker.

"I don't understand."

"Why are you here to talk to us."

"This is what I chose to do. I enjoy seeing the looks on your face as you go through the orientation process. It's a fun thing to do. I get such joy in introducing people to the Australia Project." The speaker's gaze swept over everyone's face, but Daria only got an eye blink of time. In essence, it's my vacation."

"I don't believe it," said an older man.

"Yes. It is unbelievable. And it's all true," said the speaker.

"There is a catch, however," said the speaker.

I knew it.

"You have to agree with the core principles to take part."

(* * *)

Daria was given a piece of paper and an authenticator pad. The following was printed on the paper.

The shareholder agrees that by signing this sheet of LC that the shareholder is in agreement with the core principles of 4GC Inc. formulated by Eric Renson. The only way for the Australia Project to work is for all shareholders to abide by the core principles.

The Core Principles of 4GC INC.

Everyone is equal
Everything is reused
Nothing is anonymous
Nothing is owned
Tell the truth
Do no harm
Obey the rules
Live your life
Better and better



"That's it?" said someone.

"That's it," said the speaker. "You'll be surprised at the deeper meaning behind these words. You'll each receive advanced orientation."

"What does 'live your life' mean?" said a woman. "How can a human being do anything else?"

The speaker recited as if was a standard answer to the question. "In North America, your life left a lot to be desired. Instead of dying in some robotic holding tank, here at the Australia Project you will be in complete control of your freedom and prosperity. You have freedom of choice. You reach your own maximized potential with the recourses available to you. You are the designer of your life."

"What does 'better and better' mean?" someone asked.

Another standard answer. "We are innovators here at the Australian Project. We look for problems and solve them. The solutions make all of our lives better. Things get better here every day. In North America, things get worse every day."

Silence. Then someone shouted, "Well, sign me up!"

There was laughter throughout the room, except for Daria's. 'Tell the truth'? 'Do no harm'? My mother was a lawyer. I suspect that Satan is hiding in those vacant phrases. But frankly, I'll suck a cock to get out of going back to that robotic shithole.

Daria placed her thumb on the authenticator pad. The pad beeped, and according to the corporate law, Daria had agreed to the terms. She was now fully vetted. She was now a part of the Australia Project. As she left the room, the man - Curtiss - arched an eyebrow towards Daria, then followed the Daria and the rest without comment.

Data Dump IX

It was as if Daria had spent too much time on the treadmill. Every muscle in her body ached and the top of her palate was coated with dried spit. It was probably another dart, and her body had only fought the drug to the point of waking her.

She forced her eyes open, and her tongue chewed at something invisible. Looking about, she found her glasses on a concrete floor, there being no table in the room.

Four walls. One bare cot. Bars on the windows. A locked door with a small window. Great. Back to the poverty pen. Or to prison.

Daria forced herself to rise. She wanted to pace the room back and forth furiously but only had the bare strength to stand. She looked at her sleeve.

Orange. Son of a bitch. They didn’t even leave her the dignity of her clothes. She thought of some robot undressing her and shoving her into the one-piece. With the durable jumpsuit, no sheets, no belt and rubber slippers there was nothing from which one could make a weapon.

Daria ran her hands through her hair. Suddenly, unexpectedly, the door opened.

“Daria Morgendorffer?” the woman asked with an odd accent.

God damn you. I’m not going back. I’m NOT GOING BACK!

Like a doped animal, Daria stumbled forward and collapsed towards her attacker. The woman (it was a woman) screamed as the two tried to subdue each other. Each was making a clumsy attempt.

Daria finally thought she had the upper hand and could safely bolt for an exit until she saw the machine. It was blue, and looked as sturdy and strong as an old forklift. An attachment as large as a staple gun extended at the end of its hand which attached to a telescoping arm shot forward covering three feet in zero point three seconds surprising Daria and

ZAP

she could hear the sound of the staple gun

…


…


(* * * )

It was as if Daria had spent too much time on the treadmill. Every muscle in her body ached and the top of her palate was coated with dried spit. It was probably another dart, and her body had only fought the drug to the point of waking her.

She forced her eyes open, and her tongue chewed at something invisible.

It seemed as if what had just happened was only a dream. Daria stirred. It was then that she noticed the restraints which had been attached to her hands and the four large leather-like bolts which strapped her to the bed.

Great. This is just fucking great. What if I piss my pants? Daria felt it was necessary to make a futile gesture, to at least confirm its futility. This took even less time than it took for the robot to subdue her. She was as snug as a bug in a rug.

“Hello?” Daria asked. “Hello? O hell?”

Daria sighed. Nothing was going to happen, and it was going to happen soon. By acting out, she had given whatever power that held her there the moral high ground in ignoring her.

(* * *)

With Daria counting dark spots on the brown ceiling, the doors opened again. It was the same woman from before.

“Are you Daria Morgendorffer-oh-oh-three?” she asked. She was carrying what appeared to be a phone book. Another woman peeked tentatively through the floor.

“All right officer, you got me. What we have here…is a failure to communicate.”

“Ms. Morgendorffer, my name is Dot Reed. The young woman behind me is Michelle Pondexter. We need to clear up a few things with you, but we need to be assured that you’re not going to attack either of us.”

“All right,” said Daria. “That’s not going to happen again. I don’t need that mechanical truncheon.”

Daria felt the four straps suddenly disappear, retracting into the wall as if they were unfastened seat belts. The two wrist restraints loosened themselves.

“Thanks.” Daria sat up.

“Ms. Morgendorffer, we wish to begin a process that will hopefully secure your freedom. Unfortunately, it will also result in your being asked to depart the United States.”

“You don’t sound like you’re from around these parts,” said Daria with a faint drawl.

“We’re not. We’re Australian.”

“Well,” said Daria. “That explains everything. You should have said that at the beginning; it would have saved us both a lot of trouble.”

“First: are you Daria Morgendorffer, the daughter of Jacob and Helen Morgendorffer?”

“You got it. This isn’t some sort of psyche test, is it? I hate those.”

“You have a deceased younger sister, Quinn Morgendorffer?”

“Yes.”

“Have you ever heard of the Australia Project?”

“Fraid not. I was never much a fan of television. And these days, I’ve not been a fan of reading the papers.”

“Ms. Morgendorffer, it can all be explained through the actions of your father, Jacob Morgendorffer. When you were a teenager, he purchased one share of stock for you and one for your sister, Quinn Morgendorffer. The Australia Project has been tracking down its shareholders. As a member of the corporation, you are entitled to the benefits of any of the shareholders. This includes membership in the Project, room, board, and the freedom to come and go on the project grounds – which happen to be the entire continent of Australia.”

It was Michelle’s turn to speak. “After what we tell you, you will be free to leave with us if you choose. We will immediately depart for Australia afterwards.”

“On Deus Ex Machina Airlines, I suppose?”

Daria looked at the two. They both looked serious. “And they’re just going to let me walk out of here?”

“Yes. If you agree to come with us,” Dot answered.

“If I have cushy digs somewhere, how come I wasn’t let out of this hellhole after my prison sentence ended?”

“Your resources are in Australia, and not here. If the robots let you leave, you would technically be a homeless person. You have no job. Americans do not want to be reminded of the existence of their millions of homeless. You would be returned to either a terraform domicile, or to prison.”

“And the robots agree with you coming here?”

“Yes. Given the inclination, the United States government does not want to spend the time or resources in maintaining even your minimal room and board,” said Michelle. “There will soon be other homeless mouths to feed. You’re just taking up space. The United States would rather not see its citizens go to Australia, but it has made the decision that it’s better to take you off their hands. Furthermore, any one holding Australia Project stock is a citizen of Australia, by Australian law. Since you have dual nationality, they can’t stop you from leaving.”

“Your sister is deceased,” said Dot. “As executor of your sister’s estate, you took control of her assets. Those assets were seized by the United States Government upon your imprisonment, but according to the courts of Australia, Australia project stock cannot be seized by a foreign government, and it pays no material dividends anyway. You now hold your sister’s share of stock in addition to yours.”

“Is there any person to whom you’d wish to pass ownership?” said Michelle.

Daria thought about the question. Sandi’s name popped into her head. She had been as close to Sandi as anyone over the past few months, but she was now determined to leave Sandi behind. She never wanted to see or hear the name of Sandi Griffin again.

“I can’t think of anyone,” said Daria.

“Are you sure?” asked Dot.

Daria thought about the matter carefully. Then, slowly, she spoke. “I want to offer Quinn’s stock to Jane Lane.”

Daria explained who Jane Lane was to her new visitors. Jane’s situation was complicated, and Daria hadn’t spoken to Jane in years. “Finding someone in Europe will be very difficult…if Ms. Lane is still alive at all,” said Michelle. “Jane might not join you immediately.”

“I’ve been thinking about her. If you’re as powerful as you say you are…I want to know what happened to her.”

“Very well. We’ll see that she gets her share of stock and that the benefits of membership are explained to her when she’s located.”

“So what are the benefits?”

“They’re here in this catalog.”

Daria looked the catalog over. “I’m surprised you don’t have anything in data file form. What kind of paper is this?”

“It’s not technically paper. It’s laminar carbohydrate. Paper is a massive waste of resources.”

“Okay. But why a catalog?”

“The machines won’t let us bring anything metal or electronic into the building.”

“It figures.”

(* * *)

Daria, Dot and Michelle left their electronic car and proceeded to the Raleigh-Durham International Airport. Daria was still dressed in her orange prison togs. She wondered if anyone would attempt to stop them at the airport.

No one stopped them. They simply walked through the airport, stopped at the optical scanners, and after Daria had momentarily blinded by her scan, the three continued walking.

Past the security gate.

Past the check-in line.

Through a door marked “Exit A6002” and into a holding room.

Then, through the holding room and directly onto a plane.

It was no sort of plane that Daria had ever seen before, bigger even than an A480 Airbus. Daria thought that she had momentarily stepped into a five-star hotel until she noticed the traditional square airplane windows at the sides. There were other people on the plane, standing around, chatting. Many wore orange uniforms just like Daria’s.

Dot and Michelle continued walking. “These seats are ours. These seats are recliners that will fold out into a bed. It’s going to be a long flight with a stopover in Los Angeles.”

Daria looked up at the luggage racks on the aisles to determine the isle and seat designation. Then she noticed there were no luggage racks – and no designators, either. The seats were not so much as numbered.

“Okay, here’s my first question out of several. We walk into an airport. Aside from my optical scan – a scan that you wisely skipped – you walk through all kinds of airport security without a ‘by your leave’ and end up in some kind of opulent superplane. You don’t even to bother asking any questions doing it. How the hell do you know where you’re going?”

“I’m going to answer this question the way I answered all the other ones,” said Dot.

“Yeah,” answered Daria. “You’ll learn it all during orientation. I suppose it’s a lot better than ‘sit down and shut up’. Do you mind if I put this thing in recline mode?”

Dot reached over and touched the chair, which immediately reclined back as a footrest swung forward. Since topics of conversation had dried up – and since there was nothing about which to communicate with these two complete strangers – Daria decided to think about what was happening.

She did know one thing – it was unlikely that she would ever return to the United States again. Daria had been categorized as a felon, an escapee, a three-time loser. The U. S. government wanted nothing more to do with her. She figured that she’s probably be barred from entering the borders of the United States on any return visits.

Daria had always felt like an exile all her life – exiled from the company of her family, from the close bonds of schoolmates and friends. She realized that much of her time as an exile was by choice, but life had turned the tables on her. Now, everything exiled her, rejected her. Even Jane had decided that her friendship with Daria was not worth staying in the United States for.

Nothing had felt like home to her, ever. No situation, merely an unquenchable restlessness. A complete reject. She had lost her dignity, and despite the fact that she had only given lip service to American cultural institutions, she felt like a complete failure. Mom, Dad, Quinn, I fucked up so much that they don’t even want me here any more. They have no use for me, they have no place for me.

She knew that she might never see the graves of her parents and sister again. This chilled her.

It was all too much. Daria closed her eyes and prepared to flee once again, this time into sleep.

Data Dump VIII

A man’s character is his fate.
-Heraclitus

(* * *)

Once again, Daria would have to escape. Better to be shot escaping than wait for the touch of the guillotine blade.

She forced herself to clear her head of rage. It wasn’t working. Her fingers were slightly trembling, she sucked every oxygen molecule out of every breath before inhaling, as if she were coming up for air before diving down into the depths again. Her vision became blurry, her eyes slightly moistend with a film of salt water, testifying to the cliché about being so angry as to not be able to see straight.

Being in this…house…only added to her anger. Everything she looked at, in all directions, was a possession of Tom Sloane’s. The choice was either to walk outside or to look for a weapon so as to kill both of those treacherous ASSHOLES RIGHT THERE IN THAT FUCKING BED -

No. She would not kill them. She would leave them there, let Sandi earn her fortune on her back, let Tom remain the perpetual man-child. Sandi, bless her small, onyx heart, had proved decisively that any thought of beginning a new life with Tom Sloane as a spark was a thought grounded in delusion. She could not afford to be deluded. Her life and her freedom were at stake.

(* * *)

As she walked, Daria tried to order her thoughts in a logical progression. Escape had become a pop quiz of high stakes. Get one answer wrong, and get thrown in jail.

Daria was certain that the two had not heard her. When she forced herself to turn away from the sounds coming from the Sloane bedroom, she knew that the two remained in ignorance of her and vulnerable to surprise. They would not question Daria’s absence for a while. Then, after cleaning themselves up and calling for Daria’s company, they would find her absent. They would start to worry for any number of reasons. Either that, or Sandi would finally “take care of things” – with Daria providing the excuse herself. This gave Daria a limited window of opportunity.

With the grass still under her boots, walking was out of the question. The distances were too great and Daria feared robot bloodhounds, imagining electronic barks chasing her like a refugee from a bad B-movie.

Automobiles were worse. Autos had not had pilots for years – you stepped in and told the OnStar your destination. The auto drove itself. Daria’s fear was that it would drive itself right back to room 030397, where Daria could meet her brand new roommate.

Like it or not, it seemed that Daria was doomed to walk. She had no aptitude for the outdoors, not even Girl Scouts. (Jane, on the other hand….) She would have to make up some sort of plan on the fly, would have to cram a lifetime of survival skills into five minutes.

First rule: find tools. There was a large tool shed on the Sloane property. There had to be some sort of impromptu weapon inside.

There was no door. It seemed to be a converted barn, and it was simply a matter to walk inside.

Inside, Daria found that her guess of a tool shed was completely wrong. There were several cars hidden under large canvas cloths, like old furniture that was not being used. Along the walls were the tools of trade for the motor mechanic. If they have gasoline….

Daria eyed the cloaked automobile from all directions, despite the fact that the cloth reduced the machine to an indistinct mass. Getting on her knees (…to show her appreciation…) she found that one edge of the canvas connected to the canvas on the other side of the car by simple hooks. She undid each of the hooks on her side, allowing her to pull off the concealing tent.

The car was a red automobile. A small, metal logo on the front hood read “FIAT”. The cloth hood betrayed that the car was supposed to be a convertible; the hood was inexplicably in the “up” position. There was some sort of filmy plastic cover over the hood, one that could easily be removed. The automobile was bulkier than the convertibles Daria had seen in her youth, but the curves of the design betrayed the power of the vehicle – it was the engine, and not the design, that gave this vehicle its speed.

Daria opened the door – it opened. And the greatest surprise of all - the keys were still in the vehicle.

Daria turned the engine, and the machine angrily woke. Even a small touch of the pedal provoked the roar of a great beast, growling to be made free. It was stick, but Daria could drive stick. Daria was determined to give the machine its freedom despite the fact that that she had not driven in years.

It was as if touching a bicycle. You never really forget how to ride one, and Daria’s skill with a car, drilled into muscle memory with multiple exercises, simply returned to her. She put the machine in first gear and the red convertible lurched forward, off to new adventures.

(* * *)

There was no gate. There was no need for one. Daria passed a robot groundstender but it paid her no mind as she wound down the winding road. After two minutes, she found a sign:

CONTROLLED VEHICLE AREA

You could still drive the car yourself if you wanted to. No one wanted to, however. Entering a controlled area meant that you obeyed the traffic laws and drove at the speed limit as to not upset the machines traveling around you. It was much easier to let the car drive you where you wanted to go and save the red convertibles of the world for uncontrolled areas where you could take turns on privately-owned roads at 180 mph.

Daria wondered where she could go. She would have to get supplies from somewhere. Perhaps Tom had put an RFID chip in the machine. Tom would of course be prudent. She could imagine a younger version of Tom (but with the older version’s mustache) sitting next to a car with a dead engine, waiting for the helpful robots to arrive and tow them away. She could hear the younger version of Tom in her head. Why should I call someone? Why not just let the robots do it?

There was a temptation to give in to the paranoia that the robot police were on their way. If you do that, Daria told herself, you might as well just frog-march yourself to the police station. She had to assume – at least as a working proposition – that the police, the robots, the whole crooked system around her was not omnicompetent, that human eyes would fail to see, that machines would make the wrong calculations. She knew, however, that her expensive car was a burden – it would be the first identifier of many. She had to shake herself free of identifiers.

(* * *)

When you’re a fugitive, everything is a plan.

Daria had confined free thought, sarcasm, cynicism, speculation to a primitive part of her mind. The car would be identified. She could not abandon and then walk; it would be a literal red flag – “fugitive within walking distance of vehicle”. She had to find someplace where she could get lost among many.

As she pulled the machine into the mall parking lot, she felt she was making a mistake. Maybe entering a large closed space was not a good idea. But staying by herself in a large, open area was not a good idea, either, or at least it seemed that way. I can’t second-guess the decision. Anything I decide has the potential to screw me. I have no training in survival.

With no secret tunnels or massive air ducts, Daria began to formulate an alibi if she was caught. I just took Tom’s car to buy some new…something. She didn’t know what she could purchase that Tom couldn’t literally make, but there had to be something.

Her mind turned to the old skit about two men in prison talking:

You turned right going out of the bank? Aw man, you shouldn’ta turned right! If you get out again, next time, turn left!

She faced the left-right dichotomy immediately.

To her left was a store marked “BOOKS”.

To her right was a store marked “PRECIOUS DESIGNS”.

“Books”. That’s where anyone would look for me. She was certainly more familiar with books, and the thought of there being some book called “How to Get Away From Everybody” a few steps away was tempting.

But who would look for her in PRECIOUS DESIGNS? You turned right going into the mall? Aw man, you shouldn’ta turned right!

Changing her appearance was a high priority. So Precious Designs it was.

(* * *)

Daria entered the store, which had several customers. There were several mannequins displaying the precious designs, each standing watch from their elevated platforms.

What there weren’t were were the designs themselves. Instead of finished clothing on racks like there were at the Cranberry Commons Daria remembered from years ago, there were bolts of cloth. Daria figured it out. There must be some sort of automatic costumer in the store.

It made sense. A customer would simply carry a bolt of cloth to a counter, and say, “make me X”. The machines would make the customer “X”, and the customer could fit “X” on whenever he or she wanted. It was more like a bakery than a boutique. (As Daria looked around, she saw that the customers were middle class or slightly higher. They had this haunted look on their faces.)

There was only one question – what to wear? Oh, if Quinn could only see me now…wondering what to wear…. But Daria knew that “she shopped like a guy”, according to Quinn. Daria homed in on a look like a laser, sized it up in a split second, and if the look fit society’s requirements for non-nudity and was remotely flattering, into Daria’s cart it would go. On her visits, Quinn made a habit of culling Daria’s closet. Certain favorite shirts would vanish.

This would be a strength. She merely had to find the least likely thing to wear, having the machines make it, and box it. Even there, she was offered a multiplicity of choice, until a voice in the back of her head said, pick the most durable.

Daria found a denim jacket (!) and jeans combo. She grabbed a durable looking bolt of dark blue denim and prepared to take her place in line.

As she walked towards the line, she could see what was going on at the head of the line. Someone would step towards what looked like an old-fashioned airport scanner. They’d sit in the scan booth for a few moments while the machine made a three-dimensional topographical projection. The sewing device would then stitch together a garment in the size that was needed.

”Step into the archway, m’aam”

Daria saw herself stepping into the arch and the machine scanning her.

She imagined the machine. FUGITIVE. DARIA MORGENDORFFER003. ARREST IMMEDIATELY. She saw robots, hundreds of them, following her, with infinitely long arms of the law….

And Daria lost her nerve. This was no choice to make.

She retreated to the back of the store. Goddammit. I should have chosen the bookstore. She created a new story. Tom, I remembered that you liked Stalin so much, I decided to buy you a biography. I wanted to surprise you. I needed some way…to show you my appreciation.

She put the cloth back where she found it. Maybe there would be no problem at all. Maybe Tom was just waiting for her to come back.

As she returned up the isle, she saw one of the mannequins - leave the podium. It had a head without features, the better than some shopper could imagine her own head in its place. It was coming down the aisle towards Daria.

Daria knew to keep a wide berth of robots. She simply turned and walked in the same direction as the robot, then resolved to leave the store by way of an alternate aisle.

Then she saw it. Another mannequin, which had recently left its post, was now heading in her direction as well.

Once again, Daria had to make a quick decision. Fight or flight? The closest thing she had to a weapon was a long file she had secreted from the garage, one which just barely fit in the pocket in front of her formless sweater.

It’s paranoia. It’s time for the mannequins to be changed. They know that. They go back to their changing rooms, they put on new clothes, they come back. It’s that simple.

Daria tried to betray some confidence as she walked forward, a careful eye on the motions of the mechanism walking towards her. She tried to find a plan, and some courage, both items in short supply at this critical moment. She walked closer…Niagara Falls…slowly I walked…step by step…inch by inch….

As she walked, she saw it. It made her stop when she noticed it.

The camera.

Perched high in the store. Now swiveling slightly in her direction, like a poker player’s bad tell. She saw the curve of the lens tighten for a nice close-up.

Daria found what she was looking for.

The mannequin stopped her. “Can I help you?” its sexless form asked her.

“NO.” Daria was firm.

“Please,” it said, “let me help you.” And then it touched her. It took her by the arm, her left arm.

With one fluid amazing moment, Daria grabbed the file from her sweater, and in a snarl, struck with a stabbing motion. The dense metal cracked a hole right in the mannequin’s head and Daria could feel something grabbing the file right out of her hand, as it was ground up in whatever helped the head to move.

The head began to move like a woodpecker looking for an insect, shaking rapidly, nodding “yes” a thousand times over, the imbedded file as Pinocchio’s nose. The machine let go.

Daria broke for it. She didn’t care what was chasing her, what these machines wanted. She just had to get away. Look for a bathroom. A changing room. A back exit.

Three fashionable mannequins immediately pursued. They were faster. Daria knocked over a display of accessories (cheap watches? necklaces?) behind it.

They were no impediment. It jumped the items on the floor.

A machine with model-thin arms grabbed Daria’s arm and tried to swing her around. She pushed it instead, and it lost balance. Daria tumbled forth, over the device, when another machine tried to grab at her. She pushed off the fallen machine’s body using her legs, and bolted again, at a full run.

That was when she saw it. The silver machine. Whatever it was, it wasn’t a mannequin. It wasn’t one of the robots from the poverty pens. It looked sleek, and very expensive.

“HALT,” it said. “Do not resist!”

Daria turned her back to the machine. She ran, ran as fast as she could. And then she heard it –

-- thhhhhhWWWWWWWWWpphhhhhttttttttt

…she continued to run….

-- thhhhhhWWWWWWWWWpphhhhhttttttttt


…this time, she felt the stab of the needle at her back. No. Have to get away. Have to getttt awwwwaaayyyyy…. As consciousness eluded her, she looked up at the mannequin in front of her, still on a pedestal, wearing the latest can-you-just-die-for-it costume? The blank face portrayed nothing at all, but Daria, as she slipped away she interpreted the mannequin’s posture as betraying a sense of superiority….

Data Dump VII

I never go out unless I look like Joan Crawford the movie star. If you want to see the girl next door, go next door. - Joan Crawford

(* * *)

“I think we’re heading to the coast,” said Daria Morgendorffer as the two looked out the windows. “It looks like the cities have disappeared.”

“It doesn’t seem like much has changed,” said Sandi. “It looks just the same from the sky as it did when I looked out of airplane windows when I was a teenager. The cars still look like ants, and there still seem to be just as many.”

“You know robots,” said Daria. “Always interested in order. No radical changes. No flying cars. The world will look the same as long as humans give the orders.” Daria paid more attention to the Atlantic Ocean. “I thought global warming would have swallowed these coasts up years ago; that there would be no beach. But I haven’t been watching the news lately.”

“God, who does?” said Sandi, looking out the other window.

As the two watched the scenery, they noticed the mass of forest giving way to a cleared area at the top of a hill. At the peak of the hill rested a modern looking home. “Do you think that’s it?” asked Sandi, but before Daria could answer, the helicopter answered for the both of them. Sandi and Daria could feel a shift in the rotors as Daria sighted a large letter “H” in a blue circle on the asphalt below and the machine moved closer to its final landing place atop the helipad.

As the machine touched down, the robotic voice of the copter spoke for the first time since takeoff. “We are about to land. A chime will sound and then the doors will open. You may then remove your safety restraints and depart the helicopter.”

Surely enough, the machine did what it promised to do. As the two orange-suited women departed and the rotors began to slow, a door opened from an attached structure at the end of the helipad. A slim-looking man with brown hair and a mustache walked towards the women.

“Is that Daria Morgendorffer?”

“That depends,” said Daria. “Is that Tom Sloane?” It wasn’t a run-across-the-meadows moment, but both picked up their pace in anticipation. Daria was never touchy-feely, but she didn’t mind giving her old ex-boyfriend a hug.

“It’s great to see you again,” said Tom, smelling like musk. “How are you?”

“Oh, at least I’m alive,” said Daria. She turned her head to Sandi. “Tom, this is Sandi Griffin. She’s a friend of my – “

“—of Quinn’s. Rude of me." Tom almost extended a hand for a shake, but he rightly read Sandi’s body language. Tom and Sandi shared a hug.

“All right,” said Tom. “Time to get the two of you out of those clothes. We’re going to have dinner outside. Robby, where are you?”

A blue looking machine walked from behind Tom. “Robby, take Daria and her friend to the dressing room. Explain how CostumeTech works. It will be new to Daria, I don’t think they had that a few years ago.”

(* * * )

“Daria! I think you’ll like these!”

Daria walked over to the scanner where Sandi was sitting. Sandi was naked and sitting on a towel while Daria was in her underwear.

“Do you see those boots?” Sandi giggled. “They remind me of the boots you used to wear in high school!”

“Yeah,” said Daria, squinting as she adjusted her glasses. “They do. I love boots like that. They stopped making them. Hey, Nimrod,” she said to the robot.

“Yes.”

“I’ll add those to the collection. Size four.”

“Please step on the platform.” A finger swiveled to a flat panel on the ground.

Daria stepped on the panel and was surprised to see a flash, as if a snapshot had been taken. “It will take approximately 23 minutes to fashion the boots. Your other garments are ready.”

“Why so long with the boots?” asked Daria.

“Gee, Daria,” said Sandi, “sizes for shoes have been dead for years. It happened when you were in prison. All shoes are now custom-fitted. The boots are being hand-crafted. All it takes are the materials and a robot to put it together.”

“Okay, Griffin. I have an entire wardrobe. You’re sitting here on your bare ass still deciding what to wear.”

“Daria…there's a difference between being dressed and between not being naked.” Sandi smiled. “Go talk to Tom. I’ll be out shortly.”

(* * *)

Daria had to agree that her new boots fit very well. They were almost a second skin. She wondered if her orange jumpsuits were also custom-fitted, as she never noticed a loose or sagging jumpsuit on anyone from the indigent housing.

As she walked into the kitchen area, Tom was waiting for her. "Well hello there," he said.

"Hey, Tom. Listen…I'm glad that you agreed to let us visit."

"No problem. A lot of this is just empty space. I was starting to lack for human company. Tell me, what do you want to eat?"

It became a much tougher question. After the fixed menus of prison and the poverty pens, Daria realized how much free will she had. "Uh…everything?"

Tom chuckled. "Great. Robby, prepare a banquet for both our guests."

A blue machine in the background began to walk towards the kitchen. "You call him 'Robby'? And you let him cook?"

"He cooks better than I ever will. I'm anthropomorphizing. You get tired of calling them 'hey, robot'!"

"Does he tuck you in at night, too?" Daria was surprised how easily it slipped out.

It rolled off Tom's back. "He - or maybe 'it' - would if I asked it to. He's a general R-124 helper model. I could buy a more specialized R-124-V model to be the Jeeves to my Wooster. Without an upgrade to CostumeTech, it's a waste of time. An R-124-V would tut-tut any choices I made. My parents are using M-248s at the cove. You know, they still haven't bought any new kitchen equipment? I suspect that their refrigerator has been waiting for the ice man to show up for the last half-century."

Tom sipped his orange juice. "But enough about me. How the hell did you get yourself into so much trouble with the law? I tried to find about your original posting on NewYorkList but it had been deleted."

Daria explained what had happened with the posting on the messageboard, and how she had violated Patriot Act III by posting thirty-three words. "It wasn't exactly the Ninety-Five Theses."

"It doesn't sound like it. But what did you mean by that 'risk all to gain all' stuff? I didn't think you were a fan of open confrontation."

Daria sighed. "I don't know what I was thinking. I think it was Jane's political diatribes that got me to thinking. I guess Jane started to get more political and social. I guess I bought into the system a bit more."

"Like you accused me of doing?" said Tom. Tom watched Daria turned red. "Well, you never accused me directly," said Tom. "Keep going."

"Then she simply left the country. Going to France. Not coming back. Jane wanted to talk about politics more and more and I wanted to talk about it less and less. This was before robot eyes were invented. With the robots shoving out the unskilled professions, there was economic pressure overseas for manufacturers to push out their unskilled and stick robots in. This led to a clash with the unions. You know, I could never imagine Jane in front of a red banner, shaking her fist and grappling with the police."

"Sorry. I'm rambling. I suppose I just happened to notice the…blanket that was covering everything. Like drowning in a warm quilt. There were more and more homeless - there had to be - but you never saw them on the streets, never saw them sleeping under bridges. There seemed to be fewer and fewer disputes about the news. I still remember when Bill O'Reilly lost his job. There wasn't a place for an O'Reilly or a Lou Dobbs in the world. There was a blanket consensus that the robots had brought forth a new age, an age of Everything Is Just Fine. But it wasn't just fine. Every now and then you'd get some horrible e-mail from someone in a poverty pen begging for help. It would just be a lightning bolt out of nowhere. Or when there'd be some poor guy who probably lost his job fleeing down the street, knocking you out of the way and then you'd watch the robots apprehend him. People would watch for a few seconds, and then they'd go on with whatever they were doing."

"I guess we were all terrified of ending up the same way. You'd hear stories about how so-and-so's profession had gone the way of the dodo egg. And when robot eyes were invented, you could put the machines on walking platforms instead of in PCs and have real robots."

"But you didn't have to do that," said Tom. "You're a writer. Which reminds me to ask you why you became a copywriter."

"I got tired of being poor," said Daria. "When all the burger flippers lost their jobs, there wasn't much of a use for burger-flipping housing. There were massive economic dislocations. All the money that the burger-flippers used to spend at Wal-Mart went to management instead."

"Yeah, I remember when Wal-Mart closed. I thought those guys were going to be around forever," said Tom, attentively listening.

"The price of everything went up. The money I was earning as a free-lance writer wasn't catching up with the steep inflation. It was either write ads or live in a cardboard box." Daria played with a sausage link. "I think after a while…it just got to me. I didn't have any family alive any more. Quinn was gone, and I was feeling my own mortality. Jane disapproved of me. I felt that I should…do something. I didn't know what I was going to do, but I should do something, even if it was just to talk to people about their discontents. Maybe I would have written a book that no one would ever have read. Or…I don't know."

The two were interrupted by a voice. "Something smells soooooo good. Is there room for one more, Mister Sloane?"

Sandi walked up the three short steps to the dining area. She was wearing a green cashmere toga. The long toga served as a combination sweater and skirt, covering black leggings which were custom made. The two could hear the sound of Sandi's high heels click towards them. Daria wondered why Sandi would have chosen such plain colors - green, gray, black - but the splash of color and abstract pattern from Stacy's Armani scarf drew one's attention immediately to Sandi's face.

"Whoa," said Tom, standing up.

"Sandi has a need to dress up," offered Daria in way of introduction.

"Don't mind me," said Sandi. "A woman's should eat like a bird, but today I might eat like Big Bird. What you have to offer for lunch looks scandalous. I'll be as quiet as a mouse and listen to you talk."

Despite Sandi's words, the two felt a need to bring Sandi into the conversation. Talk filtered back to decades past and the days of Lawndale. Sandi at least had something to offer - she had some insight into Quinn's take on the Tom/Daria/Jane triangle. Daria and Tom were surprised that Sandi would lob the hand grenade into the conversation, but Sandi simply said, "Young love is very sweet. I would have done the same thing, if I liked someone so much. And the Fashion Club were all jealous of you, Daria."

Tom/Daria was too soon to talk about, and Sandi quickly directed the conversation towards what everyone thought of high school. Unlike Daria playing fifth wheel when Sandi and Stacy talked, the three of them had equal contributions - it was a fact of life that high school was awkward and embarrassing, no matter where you rested on the pecking order. The three of them talked for several hours, then walking to the patio, then eating dinner, then resting on the coach, then alcoholic beverages for a drawn-out nightcap.

The twelfth of twelve chimes rang in the background. Tom was amazed. "Wow. Midnight already."

"Maybe we should rest, Daria," said Sandi. "We're keeping Tom awake."

"I don't mind," said Tom.

"Actually, maybe we should sleep. God what a day. I think the paradigm shift has given me jet lag," said Daria.

"I forgot about that. I'm going to have Robby escort the two of you to your rooms."

"What about you?" said Sandi.
"I can find my own way," said Tom. "I don't need a robot to tuck me in."

(* * *)

Daria woke up. She had a horrible dream. She was watching a horror movie. It was as if one of her short stories had come to life. There were characters that went to a high school, and they were all being killed in horrible ways. Heads chopped off and left on a lunch counter. Corpses falling into a classroom.

The horrible part was that she could do nothing to stop it. She wasn't even a character in her own dream. She was a disembodied observer, dreading to have to play a part and expose herself to the danger, but she never coalesced onto the dreamscape. Daria, as a third-person observer, could only observe the horror from afar.

It was a nice bed. Daria stretched out. The bedroom had its own bathroom, so Daria washed her face and wandered out into the hallway of the cavernous upstairs. She figured that she'd bump into one of the robots sooner or later.

As Daria began walking, she heard a giggle from somewhere. She followed the sound to its source.

So how was that?

That was fine. That was very very fine.

Did you learn understatement in Fielding? I'm going to be a bitch and ask for something more specific.

Fucking. Fan-tastic.

That's better. Anyway, I think a woman has to…show her appreciation sometimes. Even if she has to get on her knees to do it. So tell me, Mr. Tom Sloane…can I be honest with you? It's one of my faults.

Go for it.

Why did you invite us here? Why did you invite the two of us to visit you?....okay, you're getting all pouty. Don't get pouty.

I'm not 'pouty'.

Good. I don't like a man with a pouty face. So here you are, Tom Sloane, and you haven't gotten married and you're like what, over forty? You know, a woman would conclude that you're a faggot. There's nothing wrong with that, some of my best friends are faggy. But after what you and I did…you're no fag. Unh-unh. You like girls. So why do you like us? And why do you like Daria?

I'd rather not say.

Well, Thomas…can I call you Thomas…I'm going to make a guess….

..that tickles.

Mmm…you like that? Well, now that I have you in a good mood…here's what I think. I don't think it's because you're in love with Daria Morgendorffer. If that were true, you would have moved her in permanently. You see…I think the reason is because you figured that when you got both of us out of that hellhole, Daria would be so appreciative that…she'd show you her appreciation. Even if she had to get on her knees to do it.

Hey, stop. It's not like that.

…now Thomas, let me finish. This isn't a condemnation. I always wondered why you hooked up with Jane Lane and Daria Morgendorffer. I guess it's because those little pearl-wearing bitches in your social set had nothing to offer you. They wouldn't do the kind of things that you and I just did. They wouldn't hang on your every word. But with old Jane and Daria - a fine pair if there ever was one - you would be exotic…I'm sure they liked you for their own reasons. But you didn't know you had other…choices…

…like what?

…the world isn't all one way or the other. You just think it is. You think your only choice is between a Rolls-Royce and a beat up Hyundai. So you choose the Hyundai. And you're disappointed. So you stop driving. Tell me Thomas…have you ever driven a Corvette? Or a Porsche? Or a Fiat?

…yes. I have.

Really?

…yes. I have them in my garage. You don't know what you're talking about.

…so when was the last time you drove one?

…

No answer. Let me tell you something…Thomas Sloane. I'm not a Rolls-Royce. And I'm not a Hyundai. I'm a Porsche. So Mister Sloane…did you like your test drive? Hmn?

…

Mmmm. I thought so. I used to be a news producer. Whenever I had to evaluate someone at the end of the year, I only had one question - 'what do you want?' Not too many people know what they want. Some people wanted to advance. I told them what they needed to do to get there. Some people wanted to be left alone. And I told them what they needed to do for me to leave them alone. And I think that was the best part of my job. I was better than my mother at it. She told everyone what she wanted….so, Thomas…tell me…what do you want? I've given you a test drive. Do you want the Porsche? Or don't you?

….

….

….

I could never abandon Daria. It would be wrong.

Why? Do you think you're going to make Daria unhappy? You're going to make her miserable? She's always been miserable. You know it. You tried. You won't make her happy. No one can. If you married her and offered her a mansion and all the money in the world, she'd find fault with it, and with you. You knew her for months. She got bored with you. She's not changed. Not at all.

I need to find her a job. Or something.

And she'd still resent it. You will not please her, Thomas. You can't go back to the past.

….

….

….

What about Daria?

I'll take care of it. I'll take care of it all, Thomas. Now…let me show you my appreciation….

(* * *)

Daria told herself that it was a fantasy. That it wasn't happening. That there was nothing, no poison, no force that had subtly changed the Tom Sloane she expected. But what hurt most of all was Sandi Griffin. That Sandi had amply sized her up and just…took action.

There was no place for Daria. This was just an interruption. Sandi Griffin was going to take care of it. Was going to take care of Daria. Probably was going to have her dragged back to a poverty pen. Where she could be bitter…and angry…and with all the time in the world to figure out what she really wanted….

Data Dump VI

When the right and opportune moment comes for speaking, say something that will edify.
- Thomas a Kempis, “Imitation of Christ”.

(* * *)

Daria and Sandi had run the table.

The only e-mails left to be sent were people on Sandi’s “Drop Dead” list. Sending those people e-mail was a waste of time, unless you wanted an answer back mocking you for your misfortune.

Sandi had fallen into a glacial period of inactivity. She would shower, eat, watch television, and sleep. That was it. Most of her conversation with Daria was now limited to polite conversation. Daria noticed that even the insipid conversations that Sandi held with the other people like her in similar situations had ceased – Sandi now longer made her appointed rounds around the quad like some fashion-obsessed mail carrier.

Daria was determined not to collect flies, no matter how bad things got. She continued to develop confusing variations of Mao with Yolanda, and the two discussed communication theory. She continued her discussions with the Escape Group, which had run out of theories several years ago.

Heh. School used to be a prison for me, Daria told herself. But this prison is turning out to be a school.

Daria observed the robots more closely, watching them and testing the theories abandoned years ago by the Escape Group. Yes, the robots could decipher her rusty high school French. They even knew Pig Latin and Esperanto if you gave them enough time. They understood colors – they could tell the difference between various shades of red and blue. They could see, and sight was what made the robotized world possible. Without sight – without eyes - a robot might as well be a PC.

Prisoners – she thought of herself as a prisoner – who turned out to be violent or abusive were quickly segregated out by the ever-watchful machines. If indigents proved to be potential rapists or thieves, they soon disappeared. A certain level of social maladjustment was not tolerated by the machines, and Daria wondered what happened to the criminal fuck-ups. (Dog food?)

This left the robots to solve petty disputes among the prisoners, usually by enforced segregation. A few days in isolation would force the serious malcontents to keep to themselves. (In a society where people weren’t allowed to have many possessions, a thief is as bad as a murderer.) They would be given green jumpsuits as opposed to the orange jumpsuits, and other prisoners avoided them like someone carrying contagious cancer. Daria watched the “Greens” sitting against the stone walls of the quad, on the ground, backs literally against the wall, clutching their knees. The scofflaws were already beginning to emotionally regress.

There was fucking. There was a lot of fucking. Because there wasn’t anything else to do. Sometimes, it reminded Daria of high school, the non-married adults holding hands like school children….

(The robots won’t let anyone get married. The sermons, the religious services are all on tape. There are informal churches, and there are “marriages” under the eyes of God and Allah, but nothing recognized by the State.)

…and spending their time humping like bunnies.

(The children are now in state schools. Mothers separated from daughters. Fathers separated from sons. Daddy and Mommy lose their jobs and get sent to poverty pens – at least they get to console each other while their family is destroyed. I’ve spoken with these children, some now adults. “A state school will never get you a corporate job,” said one of them, “unless you were brilliant. Can’t join the Army, unless you’re a robot soldier. There’s nothing. After you graduate, it’s right into a poverty pen.” She was happy. At least she got to be reunited with her parents.)

There were no babies. No unexpected pregnancies. Clearly there was some sort of birth control introduced into the ecosystem. Sandi, in one of her rare moments outside, helped Daria drag a convulsing young woman towards one of the robots to be taken to the infirmary. She had been drinking from the nearby stream, convinced that the birth control was in the water circulating through the building.

(You can tell when these women want to get pregnant. They start to dehydrate, swearing off water. Or they won’t eat a certain kind of food. There are about nine “sure-fire” pregnancy diets. If any of them work, I know nothing about it. They’ve come to believe that pregnancy and impending motherhood will give them special status – or at least get them out of here.)

Daria marveled at it. She knew that the robots couldn’t program themselves (could they?) and therefore someone had to be providing the code that allowed the robots to substitute for the old guards (Wipin’ it off, Boss!) of Cool Hand Luke and I am a Fugitive from a Chain Gang.

No wonder she couldn’t get out. There were hundreds of minds like hers that were paid to keep her in.

(* * *)

While shuffling cards, a robot walked towards her. “Daria?” it said.

“Leave the money under my desk. Unmarked bills.”

The robot ignored the sarcasm. “Daria, your parole board has met concerning your case and have granted you access to CommunityNet on a limited basis, subject to periodic review.”

“Whee.”

“You are also now able to send e-mail anywhere outside of the indigent sector of Community Net for a cost of 50 credits per e-mail.”

“See previous ‘whee’.”

“Do you understand?”

“Yes.” Daria knew that using sarcasm simply meant an interminable conversation. She watched with satisfaction as the robot ambled off.

Daria knew that at least if she had to log on, she wouldn’t have to be the backseat driver. CommunityNet depended on vocal commands to post. Without access, Daria had to have Sandi give every vocal command, and Sandi had to repeat everything that Daria told her. It slowed things down, unmistakably.

Is there anywhere I want to go? Besides ‘out’? Daria had her chance to review CommunityNet; indeed, there were a few things she used it for when she was free. CommunityNet, however, was like television – five percent treasure, ninety-five percent trash. Unless she wanted to post on message boards or type Bonanza fan fiction for an audience of slackers, the damned thing was completely useless.

Daria trusted her books. She ran her fingers over a copy of Imitation of Christ. “Ah, Thomas,” she said, referring to the author, “you never let me down.”

Thomas. Now there was a name from Daria’s past. She hadn’t seen Tom Sloane in years, hadn’t seen him since that romance that exploded into being before Summer and fizzled out during Spring. Most of those memories were locked away and accessed only in case of emergencies. She still had some fondness for Old Tom – Sloane, not Aquinas.

However, if Daria had a “Drop Dead” list then Tom had to be on it. Not because Daria was afraid to write him, but it would be an e-mail that she’d be unable to write. It would remind her of her painful adolescence. Besides, Daria wasn’t interested in firing up an old acquaintanceship. She wanted to mooch from him, plain and simple. Daria didn’t know what was worse – having him ignore the letter, or having him not answer back.

Daria put her cards away and sighed. Beats posting on a messageboard. She begin planning her newest literary creation.

(* * *)

Sandi was sitting on the ground. The weather was getting cold, but she seemed not to notice the chill or the damp patches at her hindquarters. Keeping a clean jumpsuit didn’t matter. They were recycled every day.

She had the premonition that someone was walking towards her. As she turned around, she saw Daria Morgendorffer. Sandi thought back about the ugly boots that Daria always wore – for someone who valued her privacy, you could hear Daria coming a mile away. Sandi concluded that Daria had simply learned to “walk heavy”.

Daria had the half-grin that substituted for a smile. “Griffin.”

“Daria. So…what do you want?”

“I want you to be ready tomorrow morning to get your cleanest jumpsuit on, and to substitute your Grade Z mouthwash for Grade Y. For I, Daria Morgendorffer, am leaving this Theatre of Terrors tomorrow. And you, Sandi Griffin, are to be my esteemed guest.”

“Have you lost your mind?”

“No. Cocktails for two. Sloane Estate. My treat.”

Daria explained. “Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve been working on a particularly beautiful piece of persuasive writing. I bought an e-mail and sent it to my first real boyfriend, Tom Sloane.”

“You mean…that rich kid from Fielding?”

“Yes. I wanted to see if I could condense the drama of my life to three brief pages and write a letter that would tug the heartstrings of a concrete statue of Joseph Stalin. I went through several rough drafts, but dammit, my years as a copywriter did not go in vain. I wasn’t working under a deadline this time, and I sent it out five days ago.”

“As it turns out, the letter didn’t go to his corporate address. It went to his home e-mail which he rarely answers. I get the reply about a half hour ago. ‘Daria, great to hear from you, blah blah blah.’ Still alive, no kids, nose to the company mill, etc. The ending is the payoff – ‘I would like to invite you to my estate for sixty days.’”

“Wow…I’m happy for you.”

“You don’t get it?” said Daria. “I mentioned you. The you is plural. ‘You’. As in ‘You and I’.”

Sandi’s face lit up. “You mean….”

“…Hell yes, ‘I mean’. We are getting out of this dump. Goodbye Room 030397, Building 1, Resident Quant A.”

Sandi stood up, and calmly quietly, embraced Daria. The embrace was not the exuberant excitement of the mutual hug after the two had received Stacy (Rowe) Nibblet’s e-mail, but the embraced conveyed much more warmth.

(* * *)

Sandi and Daria stood about fifty yards away from the quad. They were looking at the sky. They heard a single chime in the distance.

“11:15,” muttered Daria, referring to the quarter-chime. “Tom wrote that he’d send a helicopter at 11 am. So where the hell is he?”

“Maybe he’s late,” muttered Sandi. “It could be the weather.”

“Right. This is a crystal clear day. WeatherNet states that chances for showers are zero percent.”

Sandi said what Daria had been afraid to say. “You don’t think he stood you up…do you?”

Daria finally put words to her fears. “God damn you, Tom Sloane. If you do this to me, I swear that when you die, I’m going to drag you into my cauldron in Hell and coat your balls with jalapeno sauce.” She looked to Sandi. “You don’t think he would…do you?”

“I don’t know,” said Sandi. “Was he a nice guy?”

“We were a lot alike.”

“Then maybe,” said Sandi. “Maybe….” She didn’t want to say it.

The two looked rather fretfully at the empty sky. There appeared to be no helicopter, no escape, no nothing.

“I know he has to be here,” said Daria. “The robots stated that they expected a helicopter to land.”

“That can be changed,” said Sandi. “Maybe he got cold feet. Maybe he’s scared to meet you?”

“Scared? Scared?” asked Daria rapidly. “Am I scary?”

Sandi said nothing. Then, quietly, “A robot is walking this way.”

“Goddamnit,” said Daria. “I can’t hear it, Sandi. I can’t hear that Tom left us both in the lurch. By…by….” Daria swallowed. “I’m not going back. I’m going to run for it. I’m not going back in there. Not another day.”

The robot had closed the distance. The women had their backs to it. If it had a message, it would fall on unwelcome ears.

Suddenly, Sandi shouted. “Look!”

It was a pinprick. A yellow prick of light against the sun, which was starting to coalesce into a solid object. Daria’s eyes sometimes betrayed her, but she could make out the faintest sounds of a shOOP-shOOP-shOOP of rotors.

Daria inhaled a discontinuous volume of air. Her eyes were starting to get wet. Yes. That’s it. You came through, Tom. You came through.

The helicopter was getting closer and closer. “Please move forward,” said the robot. Daria and Sandi moved forward, first tentatively and then more rapidly as the helicopter circled ahead and looked for a landing spot.

The robot continued to urge them forward. As they approached the helicopter, doors swiveled open. Daria and Sandi stepped inside.

Sandi walked over to the forward part of the cabin. Instead of seats for a pilot and copilot, there was merely machinery and a small chair. “This is a commercial helicopter,” said Sandi referring to the pilotless machine. “We’re the only ones on board!”

“Please make sure you are secure,” said the robot on the ground.

“What is our destination?” asked Daria.

“The estate of Thomas Lyman Sloane, North Carolina” said the helicopter’s intercom.

“Sandi…buckle in. This is it. We’re finally home free.” As Sandi buckled in, Daria played an awkward meeting with Tom Sloane a few times in her head. Then, she stopped the film. Daria was more interested in seeing the helicopter lift off and the robot disappear to a speck of orange rust against a green field.

Data Dump V

"But no frown of mine
Will betray the company I keep."
- Sylvia Plath

(* * *)

Daria worked on her solitare some more. It was a version called Klondike. She liked Klondike because unlike the solitare games she learned in childhood, every Klondike game had a solution that didn't depend so much on how the cards landed. Books were hard to come by, and paper was expensive. Daria doubted that her request for a What Is To Be Done? frightened the robots that much, but she knew that they could print out anything she asked them to. They just didn’t care to do it, not unless she paid, and the best they could offer her was rental. God forbid she own a book of her own.

Yolanda stepped over. “Hey, Yolanda,” said Daria. “Want to play Mao?”

“No, I’m Mao’d out for the day.”

“How about more Mao this afternoon?”

“I have something else planned, but if it doesn’t pan out, then sure,” said Yolanda. “Just keep in mind the number one rule of Mao. Say, where’s your partner in crime?”

Partner in crime. She hadn’t heard that phrase used in years, and never applied to the person Yoland was speaking of. ”I believe she’s in the shower getting ready for her visit.”

“It must be nice,” sighed Yolanda. She walked away. “Take care of yourself, Daria. Watch out for rogue Mao players.”

(* * *)

Daria Morgendorffer stepped into the communal shower. Without complaint, a robot scrubbed each inch of the floor to keep the room spotless if reeking of industrial cleanser.

Normally, the room was packed with naked flesh, fifty people to a shower. All sorts of flesh, from the taut flesh of youth to the scarred, or cellulite packed, or sagging flesh of old age. Daria had never showered with that many people before since high school. She hated group showers then and she hated them even more now. It was a low point in her eyes to start the day with such an indiginity.

There was one person in the shower – Sandi Griffin. She was using a nail file to trim down her nails. Completely naked, she would work a few seconds, blow the pulverized fingernail away and then admire her handiwork.

“Are you done?” asked Daria, her voice echoing between the blue tiles.

“Uhh…no. Everything has to be perfect. As perfect as I know how to make it. There’s not enough credit for new makeup, so I have to be perfectly cleaned.” Satisfied with her filing, Sandi opened the Recycle Door near her shower and tossed the file in as used garbage, to continue its life cycle.

“You’re going to be late. Stacy is going to be here any minute.”

“The robots will tell us when she’s here,” said Sandi. “Besides, it’s important to keep certain people waiting. The person who has to wait is the inferior to the one who makes them wait. I kept Stacy waiting all the time. She’s used to it.”

(* * *)

A robot ambled forward quickly. It told Daria that she had a visitor, a “Stacy Nibblet, at the far bench of the quadrangle, near the outlet stream.” Daria told the machine to tell Sandi, and went down to greet Stacy herself.

As she walked towards the bench, she saw a small woman waiting. The way she held her hands to her lap, even when standing, left no doubt in Daria’s mind that it was the Stacy from high school. The pigtails were gone now, replaced by an expensive suit and nice shoes with a purse that betrayed a pedigree that only Sandi Griffin could decipher.

“Hello, Stacy,” said Daria, extending a hand for a handshake.

“Daria!” Stacy walked over to hug Daria. Daria returned the hug as well as she could, still resistant to human contact. However, her resistance to such tactile stimuli had diminished over the years. She could feel the warmth of Stacy’s body even through the suit.

It was time for Stacy and Daria to catch up. Daria had learned some conversational skills. F-O-R. Family. Occupation. Recreation. The acronym gave Daria at least three things to talk about when caught shorthanded, and with Stacy Rowe Nibblet that was definitely the case.

Daria only had the chance to use the first one: family. Stacy was married, of course. She had one child, a son, Brett who was now 11 years old. Brett was doing well in school. Her husband was a bureaucrat and the Nibblets lived in an exurb of Washington, D. C. Stacy had time to be a homemaker, and she homeschooled her child.

It was Daria that found herself the subject of conversation, vis-à-vis her sister, Quinn Morgendorffer. Quinn and Stacy had lost touch after college, and Daria filled Stacy in on the missing parts of Quinn’s life. Quinn had graduated and went to work as a marketing person for a music company in California. She got the chance to meet all the interesting people she wanted to meet – usually music acts – and to be fashionable. She had never married, always wanting to keep herself available for something bigger.

“Quinn always preferred chasing to catching” said Stacy. “I think she liked the gifts and the attention more than she liked the guys.”

“Tell me about it.”

“I remember when you wrote me that she died,” said Stacy. “I know she died of a heart attack, but you never told me exactly what happened.”

“There’s not much to tell. She was in her apartment in Los Angeles and a friend noticed that she hadn’t been answering her phone on Sunday. Quinn didn’t show up to work on Monday, so everyone at the record company panicked. They called the LAPD, which got permission to open the door. When they got there, they found Quinn on the kitchen floor.
She had died the day before, most likely.”

“A heart attack?”

“An aortic dissection. It was a tear in her aorta. The aorta is a large artery, the largest in the human body. Most of the time, the symptom is severe pain, but in Quinn’s case, the pain was so severe she passed out. Unconscious, she simply…bled out. I like to tell myself that when Quinn went, it was a brief moment of pain…and then nothing. She was only thirty-two years old when she died.”

“I remember Quinn telling me her Dad’s heart was bad.”

“Right. He had had a triple bypass eventually. It was a success but he aged almost twenty years overnight. He became a lot mellower. I think he was reconciled to dying. He was happy with his family. He died before Quinn died. I’m sort of glad that he died when he died. Quinn’s death took a toll on Mom emotionally.”

“I’m sorry.” Stacy reached her hand over and took Daria’s.

“Don’t be. People die, it happens.”

“I hope you’re not lonely.”

“Hey,” said Daria. “I’m sort of used to being lonely. And trust me, where I’m at right now, loneliness is not a question. I have a lot of company – “

“ – stacEEEE!!!”

There was a corresponding squeal. Sandi and Stacy embraced each other like long lost sisters. Daria immediately felt a shift in position to third wheel. It was time for the two to catch up and for Daria to listen.

(* * *)

Stacy’s first act was to bring a gift for Sandi. (Daria’s gift was a jar of expensive peanut butter – “I didn’t know what else to get.”) It was an Armani scarf, a real scarf to replace the non-descript piece of cloth that adorned Sandi’s neck. Sandi gushed over the scarf as Daria calculated how much the scarf would have been worth on the credit market. She guessed that someone at the poverty pen would have paid a month’s credit to get their hands on that scarf.

Daria listened to hours of conversation between the two. The two exchanged information as fast as their mouths could convey it. After a very brief update – Stacy = married, Sandi = former news producer – the two began to relive the past, telling stories out of Lawndale High School and the glories of the Fashion Club. Daria was only needed to verify some fact (did Quinn have a green sweater? or was it a chartreuse sweater?) and other than that, she had very little to contribute. Not that it was a burden for Daria. It was almost comforting to listen to Sandi and Stacy rattle on about Bret and Corey and Skylar and a host of names long forgotten. It reminded Daria of better days, memory so comforting that she felt as if her dead sister Quinn would walk in with Tiffany Blum-Deckler any second and the four of them would chat and gossip and Daria would breathe in the nostalgia till it curled the skin at the bottom of her feet.

After a while, Stacy began to check her watch. “Sandi! It’s been great meeting you again! But I have to go!”

“Stacy,” said Sandi, feeling the draft of ancient air pass away, “have you missed me?”

Daria felt the question land with a thud as Stacy answered. “Sure Sandi. I’ve missed you a lot. I really think about you.”

“Stacy, you know I’d love to see your son. You’ve told me so much about him that I feel that he’s almost here. Isn’t the Thanksgiving holiday coming up?”

“Well, Sandi…I think it would be better if I saw you on Thanksgiving. Don’t they treat you well here?” she said, referring to the robots. “Don’t you like it here?”

“What do you think, Stacy? Of course, I don’t like it here. It’s a prison, Stacy. It’s a fucking prison. When I take a crap, Stacy, I have to take a crap on a toilet with no doors. I live in a friggin closet in a bunk bed. I don’t have any clothes except a jump suit that belongs with a road cleaning crew, one that I have to throw away after use so that it gets recycled. I’m on a god-damned allowance, for Christ’s sake. The people here are either obnoxious or depressed. The robots have us hemmed in on all sides. We can’t go anywhere, we can’t see anybody, and we can’t do anything. No, Stacy, I do not like it here.”

“But Sandi…don’t…can’t your brothers help you? What about your parents?”

“Parents? My whole family is probably in hellholes like this. Except for precious Sam, the little rat bastard. And I never saw him lift a hand to help any of us! Stacy, you are our last hope. If we don’t get out of here, we die. We die in here.”

“Don’t talk like that, Sandi.”

“Then can you help us, Stacy? Can you help an old friend?”

“Stacy…you know money is tight?”

“Money is tight! I’ve heard that one before! You can buy me a friggin Armani scarf…but ‘money is tight’. I looked out for you, Stacy. I took care of you, I got you want you wanted, I protected you. And this is the thanks I get? This is how you pay me back. How sharper than a serpent’s tooth. You owe me, Stacy. You owe me.”

“Don’t get mad,” said Stacy, shrinking.

“Stacy,” said Sandi, lowly, “if you don’t come back here and get us out of here…I’ll kill myself. Is that what you want, Stacy? Is that what you want me to do? Will that make you happy to be rid of me? DO YOU WANT ME TO FUCKING KILL MYSELF?”

Stacy began to start crying. Daria stood up and said, “Don’t even joke about that, Griffin. That’s not funny.”

“Oh I’m not joking. I’m just getting started. Stacy! LOOK AT ME! I’M SERIOUS! I’LL DO IT!”

A voice interrupted. “Is there a problem?”

It was a machine. Other machines were following. “Sandi,” the machine said, speaking to her by her first name. “Do you want to lie down?”

“I don’t WANT to lie down!” said Sandi, the tears beginning to fall from her face. “Take me home! Please take me home!”

She grabbed at Stacy’s arm, and Stacy shrunk back in horror. Another robot ran about a hundred yards in four seconds as the first robot grabbed Sandi’s arm away from Stacy.

Sandi screamed. She was fighting the robot, which had one of her arms caught in one of its talons. The tranq cannon swiveled out of its body.

“STACY!” sobbed Sandi. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Don’t leave me here!!”

Daria watched in horror. There was a burst of air from the tranq cannon. And then Sandi collapsed as a rag doll, with the robot suspending Sandi briefly by one limp arm. Daria turned to see how Stacy was, but a robot was already escorting Stacy away.

A third robot surprised Daria. “Daria, do you want to help your friend?”

(* * *)

Daria waited for Sandi to open her eyes. She muttered.

“How do you feel?” Sandi shut her eyes with her closed fists as an answer. She began to sob.

“Sandi…what happened to your Mom and Dad?”

Sandi said nothing, convulsing with tears, not speaking a word to Daria.

Daria rested her head on her elbows. “Did you ever read King Lear, Sandi?”

Sandi shook her head.

“ Turn all her mother's pains and benefits /To laughter and contempt; that she may feel /How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is/To have a thankless child! Away, away!”

Still silence.

“You weren’t much of a reader. Quinn told me a lot about your mom. And that sounds like something that she would say to you.”

“There wasn’t…a day,” said Sandi, between sobs, “…not a day…of my life…when she didn’t…remind me…that I owed everything to her. I heard it…every single friggin day…and if I let her back into my home…after all those years I fought to get away…it would never end. It would never end.”

“So,” said Daria. “So she’s in a place, just like this. Somewhere. You abandoned her.”

“Sam never helped her either,” said Sandi. “It’s not…my fault. It’s not. You don’t know her Daria. You don’t know her.”

“She said…she hoped that someday I’d know the pain I had caused her…and now I do. But…I’d rather live for the rest of my life….” Sandi clamped her jaw to keep from screaming, and Daria could hear the suppressed moans, “I’d rather live here in this shithole…as long as I knew…she was living somewhere worse.”

Daria didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t imagine it. She suspected it, but confronting it did not diminish the horror, it merely increased it.

“Then I’m sorry, Griffin. I’m sorry for the both of you.” Daria climbed up to the top bunk of the bed, to fight her way to an uneasy sleep.

Data Dump IV

Seems I'm not alone in being alone
A hundred billion castaways, looking for a home
-Police, "Message in a Bottle"

(* * *)

Dear Daria,

I'm sorry I took so long to answer your letter. It was certainly not easy thinking about how much the world has changed since both of us were in high school, much less thinking about the divergent paths our lives have taken.

It is with deep regret that I have to say that I can't help you and that I have no home to offer you. Right now, I already have three people living with me: my sister Rachel, her husband Bill and my cousin Sarah. My parents have others living with them as well. I hate to say this, but there's no room at the Inn.

I hate to start the letter off with a downer, but I thought that you'd want the bad news first. At least, I can tell you about myself since you were kind enough to ask.

Currently, I'm an associate dean at Turner University. Yep, I've returned to my old alma mater. We still have students, believe it or not, but not many - we're one of the few surviving colleges that are primarily African-American. Our campus looks a lot like Grove Hills, if you remember the trip we took long ago. The maintenance workers are robots, but other than that, we still have actual professors. Maybe not for long, as there's very much financial pressure to begin using robot instructors. I'm doing all I can to put a stop to it, but I can only fight a delaying action. I suspect that many of our professors will be joining you soon.

I can already see the difference in the students I get. Mind you, these students are a lot better off than the Turner student of a few decades ago, but they are only better off financially. This is the first generation that has been raised by robots. They know facts but they don't know interpretations. They're not critical thinkers. In some ways, they're a lot smarter than you or I ever were; in others, they're astonishingly naïve and ignorant. I hope that some exposure to our human instructors will cultivate a passion for the liberal arts that is now almost extinct.

That's enough about my job. I'm not married. Too busy. Besides, Rachel and Bill are almost children. I can at least tell you in a letter what I'm afraid to tell them to their face. They're moochers. They're not interested in work and haven't been interested in it since they've moved in; they're quite happy to eat me out of house and home and complain about the lodgings and about what a lousy sister I am. Rachel used to be a teacher, Bill used to be a businessman, but now they're both ghosts. They watch TV and complain about minor inconveniences. I'd hurl her out of here, but she's my sister. I still believe that blood is thicker than water, and I know that if I threw them out, they'd both end up in a poverty pen and they'd spend the rest of their lives cursing the name of Jodie Landon.

The sad case is my cousin Sarah. Sarah wants to work. She used to be a seamstress and theatrical costumer but now robots can do in a few seconds what it took her weeks to do. The news says nothing about the rate of unemployment, but it's high, and that's not counting everyone in your situation. There are few jobs, in business management and robotics and computer programming, all jobs for which Sarah isn't even remotely qualified. But she tries. I clean her newest suit for her, we dust off her resume, and she tries to get work. Not qualified. Not needed. Not necessary. I guess she does it because it gives her an excuse to sew a new interview suit. They're lovely suits, but the world doesn't need them.

I would love to help you Daria, but yours, sadly enough, isn't the first letter I've gotten. I've discovered kin that I didn't even know I had. I've heard stories of misery, stories of people about to run out of money, stories of people begging for a job, any sort of help so that they won't end up in public housing. There's nothing on TV about public housing, but we know it's out there. We get the e-mails, the letters, the desperate last chance pleas.

For you to even ask, Daria, I know it must be very hard. You were the kind of person who believed in carving out her own path. Unfortunately, all that I have to offer is best wishes. Everything else has been spoken for.

I'm sorry that Jane has fled the country. Europe is trying to hold on to the old ways, but they're going to be ground into poverty. All we hear are rumors of a mass social collapse. Australia has disappeared from the map, so things must be horrible over there. I'll pray that she's all right.

I'll pray for you and Sandi, and I'll pray for all of us. I'm sorry I'm not able to help you. Forgive me.

Hopefully, still your friend,

Jodie.

(* * *)

"Daria."

Daria was playing solitaire. "Yes, Griffin."

"Look, Daria, I know you've been depressed lately, but I have some good news."

"What? The robots ran out of 'D' batteries?"

"No," said Sandi. "Stacy Rowe has agreed to see us!"

Daria stopped dealing the cards and looked up.

"I know you've been depressed about Jodie's letter, but I bought another monthly e-mail. I used up the monthly credit, but I did it. I kept telling you, Daria, don't beg. I floated an e-mail to Stacy and told her that I was thinking about her, and I told her you were here, and you know how much she liked Quinn. So she's going to come over here and visit us. Soften her up…and then hit her up!"

Daria rapidly stood up and walked over to Sandi. "I don't believe it," said Sandi. "You actually did it."

"Yeah. I did it."

Daria grabbed Sandi by the arms. "You friggin' did it. You -- friggin -- did it!!"

Before Sandi knew it, she was jumping up and down with Daria in a state of voluntary delirium. They were hugging each other, embracing, doing an involuntary pogo, bouncing up and down like bunnies on mescaline. Anyone walking by would have been surprised at the two women making train noises, a loud whhhOOOOOOOOooo! which lasted for a good five minutes.

It was the first time Sandi had seen Daria smile. "You know Griffin," said Daria, "you're all right sometimes."

"Well…I suppose it was worth it. But you have to let me do the talking."

"I'm quite happy to be your wingman. All right you little fashion-obsessed socialite, let's not get too confident."

"Really? As well as I know Stacy?" said Sandi. "I might be out of credit, but I think we can afford some confidence."

Data Dump III

“There must be some way out of here
Said the joker to the thief
There's too much confusion
I can't get no relief….”

-Bob Dylan, "All Along The Watchtower"

(* * *)

That put me back in here after my cousin threw me out. I hit the pavement and the robots were there in moments. So no job, again, and back in a “poverty pen”.

I guess family ties just aren’t that strong. Even though my cousin was rich, she didn’t want to support me for the rest of her life, or maybe she just thought it was a bad thing to be poor and didn’t want me dirtying up her mind. So here I am, Michael Jordan Mackenzie, a prisoner. You know, my dad warned me about ending up in jail, and here I am. He’d die if he could see me.

I’ve run through what few people I thought I could depend on. Would I like to see you again? You bet. The problem is, I’ve already asked. The robots said that they don’t let people move, or “change their indigent housing domiciles” unless blood relation can be proven by the appropriate documentation. And unless one of our ancestors jumped the fence somewhere, that’s that.

I haven’t seen Jodie in years. Haven’t written her, either. I guess I’ve sort of been here without hope. But I’ll tell you something. Your letter gave me hope. It gave me hope that I was not forgotten or abandoned and left to die.

If I had a picture, I’d send it, even if I looked lousy. To hell with it. I don’t think either of us has much to write about. We have the same kind of days. But keep writing, even if it’s just to reminisce about the old days.

Mack

3457907 PRINTADDENDUM: SENT BY Michael Mackenzie038, 941919 Building 4 Resident Quant C – Homeless Detainee ****

(* * *)

“I thought more people would answer.”

“Maybe not,” said Daria, under the single comforter in the darkened room. “Who knows how people spend their time? Posting on message boards. Do people even answer their mail? Do they spend the rest of their lives looking up at a television screen? It reminds me of all those old people in the rest home, marking time until they died.”

“Daria?”

“Yeah?”

“You know…back when we were in Lawndale High School, I thought I had you sized up. I told myself that even if you were never popular, I knew that you were going to make your mark on the world. You were going to be famous someday. I would have bet all the money I had on that.”

“You would have lost it.”

“No really. I mean your sister was popular, but you were popular in your own way. I knew you were smart, and talented, and didn’t give a crap. I thought you’d be a novelist or a brain or something.”

“So how come you never said anything?”

Sandi laughed. “Come on. You know how it was. I would have never talked to you in high school.”

Daria chuckled. “Well, Griffin, you know that I figured you’d be married to a rich husband. You’d be sipping pina coladas and making the domestic help miserable. You were a real bitch on wheels, you know.”

“Yeah, training wheels. The world was a lot tougher than I thought it was.”

“Same here.” Daria was silent for a few seconds. “I’m surprised that you could run a newsroom.”

“Mom got me that job. I was good at it…but she never let me forget it. She always let it hang over me, that everything I ever got out of life was because of her. Daria?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m going to bed. Good night.”

“Good night.”

(* * *)

Glad to know that you’re still alive out there. Sometimes I like to tell myself that I’m one of the only humans alive and that everyone else was exterminated like in the Terminator movies. It makes me feel special. You know, I’ve looked all over for movies like that on the public telly and can’t find them. I think evil robot movies have been cast into the memory bin, at least in public housing. Most of my time is spent on the Terminator message boards.

Of course, for all I know, you could be a robot. Maybe robots can write now. Maybe they send us e-mail messages to make us feel better, to make us think that someone out there is listening.

Right now, I don’t care if you’re the real Daria or just an evil Daria-bot. If there’s a way for us to get together, I’d like that. I don’t know if there is a way. I’ve tried running, I’ve tried sabotaging, I’ve tried assaulting the machines. Did you know I led the Great Goth Rebellion of Quad B? Yeah, that lasted all of 15 seconds before they pumped the tranq gas in.

Family? None of us made any money. We’re all here together, but I can’t get along with my family anyway. They’re all in Quad C, and I’m in Quad B. It’s a lot better that way. Once in a blue moon the robots will allow us to hook up.

Do you know what I miss? Ultra Hold Hairspray. I used to go through cans of that shit.

I don’t have any solutions. You might like to check out the Terminator Board, sending me a private message will get a faster response than e-mail, since my inbox reminds me of the dustbowl.

Vienna la tormenta!

-andy

313562 PRINTADDENDUM: SENT BY Andrea White734, 816665 Building 2 Resident Quant B – Homeless Detainee ****

(* * *)

Yolanda and Daria were playing cards. Sandi walked over to where the two were sitting in the dreary looking common room. “Dah-RIA.”

“Yeah, Griffin.”

“You have some mail. From Mr. DeMartino.”

“DeMartino is still alive?”

“When death came, he probably beat him up.”

“Does he offer a way out?”

“Well…no. I don’t think so.”

“All praise Chairman Mao,” said Yolanda as she put down a ten of spades.

“Let us all denounce Li Feng,” said Daria as she followed with a ten of hearts.

“What are you doing?” said Sandi.

“Playing Mao.”

“Oh, I love card games! How do you play?” said Sandi, sitting down uninvited.

“The only rule I can tell you is this one,” said Daria.

“No, seriously. What are the rules?”

“The only rule I can tell you is this one,” said Yolanda.

“What?”

(* * *)

Dear Daria,

it breaks my heart to see that you are in such a sad condition. I would lie and tell the goddamned machines that you were my own kith and kin if I thought it would help but their cold metal hearts are immune to any such persuasion

the only joy I get is knowing that the robot teachers are teaching the pampered princes of industry and im’ sure even their patience will be bashed by the jocks, the lunkheads, the stoners, and the other assorted flotsam that used to clog the educational system

if they had allowed corporal punishment this would have never happened. I would like to grab the son of a bitch that invented robots and give him a fist sandwich

Jodie Landon is now a princess of industry. Kevin Thompson and Tori Jericho made it big, too. out of all those I taught, they were the ones who made the money. to know that kevin is out there running the world gives me the agita.

as for me, I am an old man and I am in the nursing facility where the robots wipe your ass and wipe it with that industrial paper. I’m bedridden. I have arthritis. I don’t see too well either. That’s okay, I don’t watch that shit they call news anyway. it’s good that Im not teaching because who could teach that bullshit with a straight face.

If you get old, I hear the robots don’t’ watch you as closely. Where the hell are you going to go anyway? There are legends of wiley old men who got away when the robots are not looking and have established a free state of seniors. Me, I believe that the robots just shot them, that’s why you don’t see them again. There are days that I think a bullet to the head would be a blessing, but I don’t tell the robots that.

Forgive me for being old and profane but I think I’m allowed some profanity. That’s one of my few remaining blessings, thinking of ingenious ways to tell the robots off. I’m trying to invent a word for asshole that would mean something to a robot. you were a wonderful writer, I’m sure you can think of one.

anyway, I hope you figure a way out. Your talent were wasted on the world. And now look at the world. It serves it right.

Your former instructor

Mr. Anthony DeMartino

361510 PRINTADDENDUM: SENT BY Anthony DeMartino077, 5661127 Building 1 Resident Quant E – Homeless Detainee: Elderly****

(* * *)

“So why didn’t Mack ask Jodie for help?” said Sandi.

“Too proud,” muttered Daria. “Not that I’m not too proud to ask. When we get our one real e-mail a month in a few days, you should send Jodie Landon a persuasive letter.”

“I still think we should send it to Stacy Rowe,” said Sandi, “Stacy is a softer touch.”

“Griffin, a lot has changed since either of us were in high school. I don’t trust Stacy to be able to tie her shoes without a nervous breakdown.”

“No, Daria, Stacy would have married well. You know men love a dishrag, someone who kisses the ground they walk on.”

“Is that why you didn’t marry well, Sandi? You didn’t like the taste of ass?”

Sandi laughed. “I guess not. Not that men didn’t chase me. But they were all losers, every last one of them.”

“Poor Mr. DeMartino,” said Daria.

“Yeah,” said Sandi. “Good night.”

“Good night.”

“Oh Daria?”

“Hm.”

“All praise Chairman Mao,” said Sandi

“I’d denounce Li Feng,” said Daria, “but I don't have the good hand.”